Cat Prayers
by RedRogue
Summary: [Post M:I3] There are things an agent can never do: The first is to share information... the second is to jeopardize a mission... and the third is to make it personal. Falling for a fellow agent is a violation of all these categories. DeclanZhen
1. Declan's POV: Obstruction

**_Note to readers_: This is set after and around _Mission: Impossible 3_,** **and the wonderful Irish agent named Declan introduced in that movie. There wasn't much said about him, but I thought he and the Asian miss Zhen (Maggie Q.) were wonderfully charismatic on screen, and thought I'd write a story centered around the pair, since the movie never really explained if they ever got together in the end. So those of you who haven't seen the 3rd _Mission_ before, you might have trouble following along in the beginning. For the rest, I hope you enjoy. This should be the start of an awesome journey.**

**Enough explanations. Go ahead and read.**

**-**

**Declan's POV.**

-

There are a few things an agent can never have the liberty to do.

The first is to share confidential information concerning _anything_ regarding his occupation.

The second is to deliberately jeopardize a mission, fellow agent, or the agency for any reason.

The third is to make the job personal.

Falling for a fellow agent falls under obstruction of all of these categories.

-

I was always the kind of man who was independent. I was a bachelor and I loved it. I liked being in the field, and it was my only love. Never would I let a girl get in the way of my job. No girl was worth it. Not to me.

Even pre-IMF, I had always felt romance wasn't for me. Sure, I'd tried it for a while, but I wasn't really into it. It was another recreation to me, and I knew it was wrong to treat women like that. So I gave up using them, which was perfect, because that was just around the time I got accepted into the fieldwork of this job, and it suited me perfectly.

Then there was that goddamn field mission we did in Shanghai, where we were infiltrating a building to save Ethan's wife. After the business where we shot baseballs to the next skyscrapers roof, Agent Zhen and I went down to wait in the getaway car.

I hadn't been able to get the image of her in that one red dress she wore at the Vatican when we kidnapped Davian, and it had stuck with me even in that very moment. I caught myself imagining her in it again.

I remember watching her pray silently to herself, her lips forming words with a hushed sound escaping. I couldn't understand it, she was so quiet, but I figured I knew what she was doing. I assumed it was some sort of mantra, good luck chant, or some cultural thing like that, but couldn't tell which.

"What is that?"

"When I was little I had a cat…" she explained as if embarrassed. "And he used to run away all the time. It's just a prayer I used to say to bring him home."

It was no cultural thing at all, just a childish made up prayer. As if her asking some made-up higher power would bring a silly cat back to her. But, it must have worked, because here she was a grown woman and still recited it with full belief it could still work it's magic.

She looked so pretty under the Shanghai neons. It was a place she seemed to fit right into, yet stood out to me like a bright light in a dark place. I was feeling slightly overwhelmed by this new sensation in me and I didn't want it to end. So beside myself, I humored her.

"Teach it t' me," I commanded with words that weren't my own. She looked at me as if I had just changed into someone else, which was truer than I realized. Ethan interrupted us before we could say anything else and we went on with the mission.

But that was just the beginning.

**-**

**Oh yes, people, this is only the beginning. Believe it or not, this was meant to be a one-shot, but there's too much to be said. Another chapter coming soon.  
Signed,  
--RedRogue**


	2. Declan's POV: Roberta

**Chapter 2.**

**-**

**Declan's POV.**

**-**

Now that the business with Davian and Ethan's wife was done with, and the real traitor amongst us had been revealed, and everything had more or less died down, we were back on the job, but this time, without Ethan. The stupid blighter couldn't be retired for long, we all knew that, but for now we were minus the Hunt.

While in a public library, I grabbed my rented movies and went to the counter for the checkout.

"Hello, Jan," I said to her good-naturedly. "Anythin' I order come in?"

"Actually, this one just came in for you today. Perhaps you should get it started before you go."

She handed me a thick book called "_Get Smart_".

I chuckled at the title, and nodded a thanks, then settled in a seat near the back, where the encyclopedia's and history books were stacked in identical clones of shelves. I plugged my pair of headphones into the side of the cover, then opened the book slowly and carefully.

"Greetings, Agent Declan," the voice of a French woman emerged from the book's inserted screen, then her image followed. "I hope you are enjoying your vacation. I have a job that requires your areas of expertise. An agent in our midst, whom you know as Abigail Lucas,"

The face of a pale woman with red hair appeared on the screen, which I immediately recognized. A woman I never liked, but had worked with on several occasions.

"Lucas was recently discovered to be a rogue agent, a spy, working for an unknown overseer operating in Paris. She is currently located just north of Paris, on a trip with her boyfriend, who serves as her current mask of accomplice, and is always under heavy guard."

A surveillance video of a copper skinned Spaniard appeared on the screen. "He knows everything that she knows, at all times, to be her voucher in case she is accused of lying. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to infiltrate her high security hotel, and quietly obtain her without her boyfriend ever suspecting she is gone."

Next, several files of familiar faces appeared on the screen one by one.

"These are your fellow agents who will accompany you. Luther Stickell, as you well know, is to be acting as frontman on this mission. Also with you will be Agent Charles Martin, Agent Zhen Lei, and agent Roberta Blake. You have seventy-two hours to meet me on base to receive your briefing and complete this mission. As always, should you or any IMF members of your team be caught, the secretary will disavow all knowledge of your actions. Good luck to you. This message will self-destruct in five seconds."

I closed the book quickly, and considered its words for a few moments.

I then saw a little kid peek his head out from behind a shelf, and eyed me curiously. In awe, he watched my book imploded, and smoke rising from it like a chimney.

I smiled at the boy nervously, then gathered my things and simply left.

-

Now I bring you to my current location, heading for one of the briefing rooms, Luther, Zhen and me. Luther and I were arguing, as usual, an argument that had been between us since we had met.

"At best we'd have to go home, retire then and there," Luther said.

"That's at _best_?" I replied. "I don't know about you, but goin' home seems t' be the _worst_-case scenario t' me."

"That's because you don't have a _life_," Zhen piped in.

I looked at her, most likely smirking as I always did.

"Well, technically neither does _anyone_ in this building," I contradicted. "Isn't that right?"

She nodded as if to say '_touché_ ', as I held the door open for her to briefing room number two.

"Don't bother with him, Zhen," Luther teased as he entered too. "He's just ticked because he's not liking the team."

"Well, I hope I didn't _offend_ Mr. High and Mighty," Zhen said with a chuckle. "Pardon me for wanting a job."

"Not _you_," Luther said. "Agent Blake."

"_Bobbie_ Blake?" Zhen said in confusion. "What so bad about _her_? Her and I were had lunch once. Nice girl."

"A little _too _nice," I muttered under my breath, folding my arms and leaning back in my chair indignantly.

"She's had a crush on Declan since amateur days," Luther explained. "Ever since he slept with her to get ahead in training protocols. Because of that they've never been on mission together. Ever."

"Then it serves you right," Zhen said to me decidedly.

"Suited me just fine," I countered.

"She's probably over you by now," Zhen said reassuringly. "Or IMF wouldn't put her on this team."

"Well, one can dream…"

"Good morning, everyone," a French woman in a navy suit said as she walked into the room. In her hand was a small stack of folders which she proceed to hand out to everyone.

"Hmm," Ms. Heron said with a disapproving tone, when she saw she had a couple of folders left. "Where are ze rest of you?"

I looked around the room in mock confusion.

"Looks like they're late. Might have t' go on without 'em."

"Very smooth, Leprechaun," a male voice with an English accent said from behind us.

It came from Martin, who entered first, carrying his usual briefcase and popping a stick of gum in his mouth.

"But you'll have to do more than that to be rid of us," he finished.

"Charlie Smartie," Luther and I said together, immediately getting up to greet our old friend. Luther and he slapped their hands in a shake, and I waited my turn.

"That's Charles Martin to you, Luther," he corrected.

"Oh sorry," Luther said with mock offense. "I forgot you were _promoted_. All official now and such."

"You too," he observed.

I shook his hand next, and the tall man heartily shook it back.

"Declan. Long time, ain't it?" Martin said.

"Not nearly long enough."

Martin smiled at me and we had a laugh about it.

"Still the same ol' Declan," he said with a smile and a pat on the back.

"And I'm sure you all missed _me_…" Blake called loudly as she stepped into the room.

"Hello, Bobbie," Zhen said to her, giving her a light hug, and Luther did the same. I ignored Bobbie as if she was invisible.

"If we're all finished with ze reunion…" Ms. Heron said. "Let's continue. Take a seat everyone."

Bobbie sat down next to me, flipping her blond hair like she was hot stuff, and plopped her purse on the countertop on top of my things.

"_Gormley_," she acknowledged me with disdain.

"_Blake_," I replied in the same tone, yanking my stuff out from under her bag with annoyance.

"This is Abigail Lucas," Ms. Heron went on. "She ze closest thing to ze base of operations as we could get."

"I've never been to Paris," Luther piped in.

"Zen zis should be exciting for you. Now, ze tricky part of ze operation is to get her out and in our custody without anyone-- particularly her boyfriend-- ever knowing or suspecting she is missing. I trust you know what you are supposed to do. She leaves for Spain in zree days, so zis is our last chance. I'll see you Monday, agents. Don't screw up."

**-**

**And away we go. Please review.  
Signed,  
--RedRogue**


	3. Declan's POV: Interesting

**Chapter 3.**

**-**

**Declan's POV.**

-

"Let's start with the obvious," Luther said as we discussed preparation in a conference room. "We're going to need a double of Mr. Madrid."

I nodded my agreement.

"So one of us is gonna hafta volunteer t' be Lover-boy Costales t' get Ms. Lucas away from the security and into somewhere alone."

"Just like the Davian job," Zhen said. "So which one of you guys are up for it?"

"I'm manning controls," Luther said, putting his hands up in surrender. "So don't look at me."

"You're too tall anyway, Luther," Zhen pointed out. "And Smartie has to man surveillance…"

"_Charles_. Charles or Martin," Martin corrected. "Not _Smartie_."

"So you're talkin'… puttin'_ me _as point?" I guessed.

"Nice math," Roberta commented. "You conclude that all by yourself?"

I shot her a look.

Luther cleared his throat loudly, to get our attention back.

"Yes, Declan," Luther said to me. "You're taking front. Heron thinks you earned it from the last job."

This news, needless to say, put me in quite a good mood, and I grinned at Blake just to rub it in her face.

"Anyway…" Luther went on. "Sadly, there are no convenient tunnels like we had in the Davian job. It's a high security hotel not even on the map for very special kinds of people, with cameras like you wouldn't believe, and security up every nook and cranny there. This may seem like an easy job, but trust me, it's going to be harder than it sounds."

"I don't see the problem," Smartie wondered.

"It means, if we are exposed, the entire complex locks down in a defcon."

"Basically: we get busted, we're dead barbequed meat," Zhen translated.

"Mmm," Smartie said. "Suddenly, I'm hungry."

"Yeah, I could go for some chow," I added, suddenly realizing I was starving.

"Focus, people, please," Luther begged, rubbing a tense spot in-between his eyes. "God, it's like I'm directing children."

He looked at his satellite printout of the building, and put a red tack on the board.

"Zhen, I need you here. You need to cover Smartie as he gets inside, then move here to be with Declan to help him finish with Costales. Bobbie, you're going to check into the party, here, and keep an eye on the real boyfriend as Declan, here, gets Lucas out of the picture. Then I want you immediately in the getaway vehicle. The tricky part is, we can't let surveillance see two Mr. Costales's… Smartie—I mean, _Martin_, that's where you come in."

"Too easy," Martin said confidently. "You know, every once in a while a challenge would be nice."

"If only life were so accommodatin'," I said, shaking my head sadly.

"Don't underestimate this job, fellahs," Luther warned. "That would be your first mistake."

"You mean there are _more_ mistakes t' be had?" I said, sitting up in my seat excitedly. "Suddenly this job seems more interestin'."

"Your _life_ is a mistake, Declan," Roberta said harshly. "So being you must be _very_ interesting."

Zhen's mouth dropped at Roberta's audacity, and I glared at Roberta again.

"Bein' with _you_ was my only mistake, Bobbie," I shot back, gathering my things and preparing to leave.

"Okay, that's _enough_ with the soap opera business, _Declan_, _Bobbie_," Luther said. "You better get this drama sorted out before we leave in the morning, or I'm making Zhen point."

I grabbed my stuff in anger and stormed out in a huff without another word, feeling it all extremely unjust.

**-**

**Things are heating up, eh? Please review.**

**Signed,  
--RedRogue**


	4. Declan's POV: Elevator

**I hope you guys absolutely love this:**

**-**

**Chapter 4.**

**-**

**Declan's POV.**

-

Zhen caught up with me in hallway after my small fit in the conference room, immediately grabbing my arm and whirling me around.

"What in the world was _that_?" she demanded harshly. "Get it to_gether_, Declan!"

"What are you harpin' on _MY_ case for?" I said, slightly offended that Zhen wasn't taking my side with this. "_She_ was the one who was crawlin' all over me arse!"

"As the rumor goes, Declan," she said with a strong hint. "You crawled on her ass first."

My eyes narrowed at her, knowing quite well what she was trying to say. Suddenly, my small feelings for Zhen vanished only for the moment in my anger at her, and I stormed off, hating her very sight.

"Declan…"

When Zhen spoke, I stopped in my tracks. My anger willed me to do otherwise, but my mind was preprogrammed to the sound of her voice.

"You're acting like a child," her unearthly tone rang in my ears. "Whatever's going on between you two, suck it up and start acting your age."

Unknowing what comeback I could possibly retort to that, I decided to say nothing at all, and simply kept walking.

-

I hung upside-down like a bat from a small cord in the center of the elevator shaft, and focused on lowering myself down.

"Zhen's made it into the party, and so has Bobbie. How you doing, Declan?" Luther said in my ear.

"Just peachy, Luther," I replied through my strain. My repel gear wrinkled my nice tux, and it made me slightly irritated. "I wouldn't mind ye hurryin' it up a little though, Smartie."

"I'm doing my best," Martin said. "And it's Martin, by the way. Should be about another five minutes then I got it… Luther, settle something for Declan and I, would you? Who would win in a battle, Batman, or Superman?"

"Superman," Luther replied without hesitation.

"_Lies_," I replied heatedly. "Batman could kick Superman's Smallville butt anyday. Blindfolded, even."

"_If_ he could catch him," Zhen's voice was heard next. "Superman's way too fast."

"Batman's got the brains," I insisted. "He always figures out somethin'. He doesn't need any stupid 'laser vision'. We, of all people, should know _smarts_ play a major part in battles."

"You guys are such morons," Roberta said with an impatient sigh. "We're on a _job_, for crying out loud."

"Declan's got a point, though," Luther admitted.

"Ha!" I said triumphantly. "Fifty bucks richer."

"You can't change your mind _now_, Luther," Martin insisted.

"Too late," I said decidedly. "Victory is mine. Batman rules."

"I agree with Bobbie," Zhen said with a laugh. "You guys are geeks."

"Luther," Blake's voice was heard next. "Lucas is on the move, heading to Declan's elevator, E.T.A. _twenty seconds_."

"_Shit_," I muttered, struggling to grab the right rope to ascend back up.

"Declan," Luther said quickly. "Get up, get _out_ of there!"

"Yeah, I'm _tryin'_!"

I heard the elevator _ding_ below me and heard the doors open. I didn't have much time, and I still couldn't get a hold of the ropes. In my stress, I pulled the wrong one, and dropped several feet and right onto the top of the elevator roof, making a large, echoing sound of my boots hitting the metal. My feet hit the roof just as the doors of the elevator closed, making a similar sound, but my mistake could still be crucial.

"_Dammit_!" I hissed loudly. "Luther!"

"He didn't seem to notice," he replied. "Look's like we got a genius on our hands."

I breathed a sigh of relief that I wouldn't be discovered, but I wasn't out of the woods yet. The elevator began to ascend with me on top of it, straight up to the metal emergency stoppers on top.

"Luther--" I said worriedly. "God, there's spikes overhead, and I headin' straight to them. Stop the elevator. Cut the power!"

"I can't, we'll be discovered—then we'll all be toast, Declan. Get OUT!"

"I _can't_!"

"Luther cut the power!" Zhen's voice was heard. "For God's sake, _cut_ it!"

"We'll _all_ be dead if I do, Zhen!"

With some quick thinking, and having nothing else to do, I hit the deck, dropping to my stomach and lying as flat as I could.

"Declan!" Zhen's voice called to me, but I didn't answer. I rose right to the spikes, and the elevator began to slow into them, and I peered over my shoulder, watching the spikes as they gradually dropped into my back, but didn't pierce me.

I breathed a long sigh of relief.

"Declan!" Zhen said again. "Is it 'man down'? Declan!"

"I'm here," I whispered. "But I think I'm a great deal thinner…"

I tried to move, but I was pinned for the moment, with the barred spikes holding me down. I heard my back crack under its pressure.

"Great," I mumbled. "Who put these spikes down in the first place? I thought they were only supposed to go down in an emergency…?"

"They are," Luther said, puzzled. "Martin?"

"I can't figure it out either. You think they know we're coming?"

"Keep it in mind, but go on anyway."

"Phew," I said as the elevator went down again. "God, that's better. You can breathe again now, Zhen," I joked with a broad smile.

"I _wasn't_ holding my _breath_," Zhen replied. "Luther, I'm exiting the ladies room, and entering the party. Martin's secure and I'm heading to Declan."

"Alright," Luther agreed. "Martin, we need you to pick up the pace now."

"Yeah, yeah, one more minute," Martin said with annoyance.

"I'm goin'," I said, reaching for the trapdoor into the elevator. "Zhen, how long until you meet me?"

"About forty seconds," she replied.

I pulled off my repel gear like it was burning me alive, despising the thought of repelling again for a while. The walls of the elevator were lined with mirrors, and I examined my reflection strictly, straightening my tie and smoothing my jacket. When satisfied, I pressed the button and went back down to the second floor.

The bell rang and the double doors opened, and there was Zhen waiting for me in an emerald green dress, made of curve hugging satin. Her hair was done up like a queen, and pearls dangled from her ears.

"Hello, gorgeous," I said in a French accent, holding out my arm for her. "Been waiting long?"

"Not at all," she replied in a similar accent.

We walked past the guards naturally, giving them a casual nod.

"How you doing?" she whispered to me in a low voice.

"I'm gonna need a appointment with a really good chiropractor," I replied. "Other than that, I'm fine."

I looked at her for a moment as we walked down the hall, and grinned at the thought that maybe… she was worried for me. Even if it was far from the truth, the mere fiction made me smile.

But now wasn't the time nor place for this, so I pulled my eyes to the path ahead, and glanced down the corridor, and saw a sight I wasn't expecting.

"It's Costales!" I said, immediately recognizing the man that was heading straight our way. "_Roberta_, why didn't ya warn us?"

"He's gone out of my line of vision!" she snapped back.

"_Obviously_," Zhen agreed cynically. "Declan, he's heading straight for us. Cover it."

I shoved her into the nearby wall, and began to gently kiss her neck. She played along naturally, smiling and chuckling, but there was a foreign nervousness in her tone. As my lips grazed her collarbone, my gaze had no were else to fall but to her skin, and I noticed goosebumps rising, and heard her breath was scattered.

I looked in her eyes for a moment curiously, and she looked right back, just as Costales passed us with no regard. Zhen's brow was furrowed in confusion and even… fear? Maybe she was afraid of me, or maybe it was something in herself she was scared of. Either way, her slanted brown eyes resembled a deer staring straight into oncoming headlights.

It made me want to kiss her. I wanted to so bad that I even feared myself. I was truly and direly attracted to this woman. There was a line in this job, and I was crossing it.

For a few moments we simply stared at each other's eyes, even after we heard the elevator ring and Costales enter it, still we stared. Even when the doors closed after him and the arrow above the elevator began to rise in numbers, still our eyes were locked.

"Declan, Zhen, what you two doing?" Luther said in our ears. "Smartie's waiting… Go!"

Finally seeing that Costales was gone, Zhen pushed me away almost at once, and we walked right into a nearby bathroom. While Zhen checked the stalls for other occupants, I head straight for stall number three.

"How ya doin' up there, Smartie?" I asked the vent overhead.

"How many times do I have to _tell_ you, it's--"

"Fine, _Martin_, are you logged?"

"Yup, just got it. Here's your face, buddy. Roberta just squirted his drink, so Costales should be back any second."

"Gotcha," I said, putting on the mask of Costales's face. "Let's hope I _kiss_ like Costales, eh?"

"For all of our sakes," Martin agreed. "I hope you do too."

I glanced at Zhen, who was giving me a funny look like she was thinking a million things, but saying nothing.

**-**

**Tell me what you think—I need criticism. **

**Signed,  
--RedRogue**


	5. Zhen's POV: Chameleon

**This story was really meant to be all Declan POV, but you guys wanted one of Zhen and her view of the 'kiss', so here you are, just for you:**

**-**

**Chapter 5.**

**-**

**Zhen's POV.**

-

While I waited for the call from Luther to go get Declan, I leaned casually against the bar. The party around was pretty mild and intimate, as all high class parties were. Most of the guests danced to the slow music, or examined expensive paintings on the walls, or chattered about the worries of very rich people, which weren't really worries at all.

"Buy you a drink, beautiful?" a tall, dark man nearby asked.

I looked at him as if I thought he was out of my league and thought on it some.

"Why?" I said in a French accent, which I sucked at. "Surely you have anozer beautiful woman you came with?"

"None, my dear. Was just waiting for someone like you to come along. Girl like you likes wine, I would imagine."

He passed a drink my way, and I took it cautiously. It had been sitting there, and I had presumed it was his drink, but now I saw it was meant for someone else all along. Also, the way he said that last part made me nervous. Had he been waiting for me to come? I smiled gladly to cover for it.

"Luther run a quick scan on this," I said through my teeth, turning my head away from the man so he would see or hear. I acted like I was inspecting the drink, and waited for the go-ahead from Luther.

"Alright, ready," Luther said in my ear.

I casually ran my hand scanner over the top of the glass, and then held it under my nose and smelled it, while I waited for Luther's reply.

"You're right," Luther replied. "It's drugged."

He sounded upset, and I knew why. It was strike one against the mission. When things like these happened, things like the drink and Declan's elevator mishap, some of the more spineless leaders would call abort. I knew Luther wouldn't at this time, but the thought was now placed firmly in his head.

I sipped the wine just a bit, pretending to drink, but held the small dose under my tongue.

"Not my type of wine," I said as if offended, and headed for the ladies room. Once in a stall, I spat out the wine and sat underneath Martin.

"That's strike two, you know," Martin said above me. "One more and we're out."

"Yeah, I know," I replied. "I'm worried if they know we're here. They have to."

"This is our last chance to nail Lucas before she leave our line of sight for good. If I was Luther, I'd risk it too."

"Too bad it's not _his_ neck on the line."

"I heard that," Luther said in my ear, and I simply smiled in reply.

-

"Hello, gorgeous," Declan said to me in a French accent, holding out his arm for me like a true gentleman… or a really good imitation of one.  
But that was Declan. He was a chameleon, a professional mimic, and a stone-faced actor. One could never really know what he was thinking. For days I wished that, even if for just a moment, I could know for certain was he was thinking… like what was deal with him and Roberta? I didn't want to ask him about it in case he thought I was being jealous or something ridiculous like that, but it was a mystery that plagued me. I wondered what his feelings were toward her really, and wondered why it mattered to me so much.

"Been waiting long?" he asked me in his usual smooth and sultry way.

"Not at all," I replied in my best French accent.

I nodded to the guards, and held my head high as we past, doing my best to seem like I belonged here.

But my mind was elsewhere. It was on Declan, and the scare he just gave me in that elevator shaft. Truth be told, he had just scared the hell out of me, and I was thankful he was alive. More than thankful, even. More along the lines of downright relieved. Declan had been right when he told me to let my breath go, because I probably would have never breathed again otherwise.

"How you doing?" I whispered to him, curious to know if he was hurt.

"I'm gonna need a appointment with a really good chiropractor," he replied. "Other than that, I'm fine."

He looked at me for a moment as we walked down the hall, and then grinned like an idiot, which utterly disconcerted me, but I acted like I didn't notice.

Suddenly, he tensed up, and hissed in alarm:

"It's Costales! _Roberta_, why didn't ya warn us?"

"He's gone out of my line of vision!" the woman's voice snapped back in our ears.

"_Obviously_," I agreed cynically, but inside I was fighting panic. "Declan, he's heading straight for us. Cover it."

Then, without warning, he shoved me into the nearby wall, nearly knocking down a painting behind me, and then began to gently kiss my neck. As I was trained, I played along as naturally as possible, but he had taken me by surprise.

His hand was on my cheek, and his other hand brushed my shoulder. His breath fell to my neck, and then he began to kiss me tenderly, with a practiced skill.

That's when I stopped being able to breathe. I had to force my breaths out so that I wouldn't pass out, but I couldn't fight my face growing hot and my palms falling clammy, no matter how I tried. He was really doing a number on me and he didn't even know it.

I watched as Costales passed, and wondered why Declan continued, even after the Spanish man was out of sight.

Oh, but it felt so good, and I didn't dare interrupt him. I couldn't deny myself the enjoyment of it all, since it was very likely never going to happen again. I was glad I was leaning again the wall, because my knees were buckling beneath me, and I was losing my ability to stand.  
Then he stopped.

I let out a big breath as he pulled away, then held it again when he looked in my eyes with a look of confusion. I knew then that he had noticed my reaction to him, and I fell afraid. I stared right back, using the poker face that I was trained for. Somehow I doubted it was fooling him.

Was I falling for this man? In this job, that was a _big_ no-no.

"Declan, Zhen, what you two doing?" I heard Luther say, but he seemed so far away. "Smartie's waiting… Go!"

I pushed him away immediately, and together we walked right into a nearby bathroom. My head was still in a fizzled whirl, but I did my best to focus back on the job, and I go to work kicking open every stall door of the bathroom to make sure we were alone. Declan headed straight for Smartie, like he wasn't even affected at all. How could he stay so level-headed? Maybe it was just an act, like me. I could only hope I was covering it as cool as him.

"Gotcha," I heard Declan say to Martin, as he started his Costales transformation by pulling on the mask of his face. "Let's hope I _kiss_ like Costales, eh?"

"For all of our sakes," Martin agreed. "I hope you do too."

Oh, I hated him saying that. It brought a reality that in a few minutes Declan was going to be making out with some other girl. Declan glanced at me as if it was the last time he'd ever see me, as I quickly tried to shove the horrible images out of my head. After a minute, still he looked in my eyes bravely, and I wondered why he wouldn't look away. I crumbled under his unwavering stare.

"What?" I said at last.

"Suit yourself," he simply replied, shedding his tux coat and proceeded to unbutton his shirt. Then I realized he had just been waiting for me to turn around so he could close the bathroom door and change.

"You could _say_ something, you know," I said with a sigh, closing the stall door for him.

"Well, I'm not really one for modesty over etiquette," he said with a cheeky tone. "Why be rude?"

I didn't reply, because I was too deep in concentration, busy fighting the temptation to just glance over my shoulder and take a peek at him through the broad bathroom door cracks. God, why did he have to be so handsome?

But I managed to harness my thoughts, and my momentary lapses of control were once again behind me. I forced my head back to business, and would have no more of the Declan infatuation nonsense.

I waited, my face serious, as he handed his clothes over the wall to Martin. After a moment, Declan emerged as Costales.

"This is it," Declan said in a gloomy tone. "Say some of those 'cat prayers' for me, eh?"

I smiled at him. A real, honest-to-goodness smile.

"Then you'll be sure to make it back," I said, more like a demand than anything.

I noticed Martin was finished getting ready as well, and had opened the door and stood staring at us. I cleared my throat nervously, and decided it was time to go.

"Com'on Martin," I said, trying to rush Martin as he put on a mask of Declan's face.

"I'll meet you later," I said to Declan, and made my way to the door. Declan went to the left as Martin (disguised as Declan) and myself headed right, and we parted ways.

-

"So what was that all about?" Martin asked through his mask of Declan's handsome face and Irish accent, as we made our way through the party and casually to the exit. "Got something for this face?"

"What makes you say that?" I said, keeping my voice cool.

"You won't look at me." He said that in a teasing tone, but I knew he was seriously wondering about me. I hesitated to answer, choosing my words carefully.

"I wouldn't think on it, Martin."

"Whatever you say… You're secret's safe with me."

For the first time in that trip, I looked at him, ready to defend myself, but never got as far as to open my mouth. That face of his stopped me short.

**-**

**Next one is going to be Declan again, and then Zhen, and if all goes well I should switch off like that for a while. Be sure to tell me what you think!**

**Signed,  
--RedRogue**


	6. Declan's POV: Pleasure

**To FlamingMushrooms, thanks for the suggestions! I used almost every one, and was extremely grateful. That last word especially. No other word could be better-- winks.**

**-**

**Chapter 6.**

**-**

**Declan's POV.**

-

Heading to Lucas's hotel room, I fought nervousness as I walked down that wide hallway on the fourth floor. My head spun with tips and pointers that I needed to remember about being Costales: how to walk, how to sit, how to stand, what to say. It was a lot to remember. At least Spanish was in my list of languages I was fluent in.

I didn't bother to knock on the door to Lucas's room since our studies showed that Costales never did so. I simply stuck in my key card in the slot and entered the hotel suite.

The suite was large, and red was the obvious main theme of the room. The headboard of the bed was tall, exquisitely carved redwood, with a shiny red satin bedspread, red pillows, red curtains… Then I saw the red wine sitting ominously in an ice bucket, with glasses nearby on the nightstand. On a silver tray were cherries, raspberries and strawberries. She had been expecting Costales, for sure.

She must have heard me enter because I heard her voice drift in from the bathroom:

"Is that you, honey?"

Her voice slightly startled me, but I quickly recovered.

"And who else would it be, mi amor?" I replied, grabbing a strawberry casually and popping it into my mouth.

"Perhaps the boogeyman, Victor," she said, drying her hair with a towel as she exited the bathroom. "You can never be sure these days."

God, she was different in person than the picture showed. Her wet auburn hair fell beautifully on her shoulders, and she sported a stunning figure, clothed only in a red towel to cover all unmentionables, which I suspected I'd be mentioning soon.

Somehow, I felt guilty in her presence, and began to think that the mission was turning awfully… easy. I began to feel dirty, like someone who was cheating on his girlfriend… even though I didn't have one. It was a very strange and confusing feeling.

But I tried hard to keep focused, keep in character, to keep my mind on the mission.

I reached behind my back and clicked on the wire I had attached there. All I needed was a confession, and then I could grab her and get the hell out of here.

"How long have I kept you waiting, Abby?" I said sitting on the bed and unbuttoning my shirt.

"Too long…" she replied, coming over to me and sitting on my lap. Oddly enough, I grew nervous, and I wondered why. I had done undercover jobs before… what made this one so different?

Oh, but I knew what was different. What was different was that I knew Zhen was watching me, even at this very moment. It put a huge dulling mark on my edge.

God, I hoped she'd understand. She had to… it was all part of the job, right? I reassured myself of this as I grabbed Lucas's face and kissed her fervently.

I was performing fine, but inside it was paining me to do so. Every touch of her skin to mine, every stroke of the hairs on the back of my neck… even through the mask it felt too real.

"What's the matter, darling?" she asked me, and that's when I knew I had screwed up. She was noticing something wasn't right in me. I had to make up for it.

"I just forgot how good you tasted, mi amor," I recovered smoothly, drinking her in once more. God, I might as well have been kissing leeches, for how much of a bad taste it left in my mouth, and how awful of a feeling it put in the pit of my stomach.

Even still, I powered on through, and wanting so much for the worst part of all this to end. I needed to talk, before this woman went for the gold with me.

"Darling," I spat out between breaths. "Dixon needs to know where we're going next… What do I tell him?"

She pulled away to glare at me with a deeply offended look.

"Always business, never pleasure," she said with a huff.

"Trust me," I said, nibbling at her ear. "Pleasure will be next. I just need to deal with this first before I can really… let loose…"

She smiled, most likely amused at this thought.

"No," she argued anyway. "You always say that and never go through. Pleasure first."

"I promise you, I will go through this time…" I tried hard not to sound desperate, and I could only hope I was succeeding. "Please darling, I want this done with."

"Fine," she said, reaching her hands around my back and holding me. "I'll tell you."

I smiled at my own victory and impatiently awaited her words. Then I felt her grasp my wire and crush it in her fists.

"But without this," she added, angrily throwing it to the ground.

"Declan, what happened?" Luther said in my ear. "I lost feed on your wire. Declan? Declan!"

I looked to Lucas with shock and confusion as she reached behind my ear and peeled the tiny micro-earphone off the back of my ear.

"Or this," she declared, throwing that on the floor too. "And _definitely_ without…"

She reached to my neck, and slowly peeled off my mask. In shock, I watched as she smugly added it to the top of the pile on the floor.

"_That_," she finished triumphantly.

-

**Surprise! Tell me what you think.  
Signed,  
--RedRogue**


	7. Zhen's POV: Flames

**Another big thanks to Flaming Mushrooms for helping me edit the chapter—You are such a wonderful help and you don't even realize it. Stupid typos. Thanks again.**

**-**

**Chapter 7.**

**-**

**Zhen's POV.**

-

It was painful to see.

Even still, I couldn't pull my eyes away from the computer screen as Blake, Luther and I simply watched Declan suck the lips off this woman. I was now regretting that stupid little camera I had placed in his earphone. It infuriated me as to how easy it was for Declan to do this job, how smooth he was.

It was even more painful to see that this woman wasn't exactly the "wicked, ugly stepsister" either. From the mission briefing, it was obvious to anyone that she was something to look at. Even I had to admit, if I were a guy, I'd want a piece of her too.

I told myself not to let it bother me… I told myself not to concentrate on the pictures on the computer screen…

But I wouldn't listen.

I noticed Blake was staring at me from the other side of the van. I had nothing against the woman when we started this mission-- I still didn't-- but judging by the look on her face, she was bearing a lifetime of hatred pointed in my direction.

"_What_?" I hissed at Blake when Luther seemed busy with his computer. She didn't answer; she just stuck her nose in the air and looked away haughtily.

"You think you're _so_ wonderful," Blake said to the wall, not even having the gall to look me in the face. "But news flash, you're not. You have about as much skill as a chimpanzee."

I was amazed at her insolence, and Luther and I exchanged glances.

"You know," I said, folding my arms. "I used to think you were an okay gal, but now I'm thinking there are words for your kind of woman that a _real_ lady shouldn't _say_."

"Yeah, _bitter_ much?" Luther said sarcastically.

"Are you trying to call me _jealous_?" she said with a chuckle. "Of _that_?"

She nodded toward the computer where Declan's impassioned images filled the screen.

"She can _have_ him," Blake went on. "He's just going to do to her what he did to me."

"And what makes you think I'm going to let him 'do' _any_thing?" I snapped, insulted by the fact that people were starting to notice what might be going on between Declan and me.

"Call it an educated guess," she replied with a snotty smile. "And if I find out you've done so much as _look_ at him in a way I think is questionable, I'm turning you both in."

"You do that, and I do the same to--" Luther began, but I shushed him immediately, with my eyes locked on the computer screen and Declan's intense expression.

"Fine," Lucas said over Declan's wire feed. "I'll tell you."

Then the sound of her voice broke into static resembling the crash of an angry waterfall.

"_What_?" I exclaimed, bolting up in surprise. "What happened? What just _happened_?"

"Declan, what happened?" Luther yelled as he frantically sifting through computer wires to check for anything he might have accidentally unplugged. "I lost feed on your wire. Declan? Declan!"

Then we lost the feed on his earphone, and the screen fell to snow. The last image I saw was that of Lucas _extremely_ close to Declan and reaching for his ear with a devilish look in her eyes. The woman had this planned for sure… and now she had Declan.

"_Do_ something, Luther!" I commanded.

"What does it look like I'm doing, woman? Shut up!"

"We need to get back _in_ there, Luther!" Blake insisted.

"No!" Luther contradicted. "What we need to do is _abort_. You hear me, Smartie! Abort mission!"

"Yeah," he said over the computer. "I hear ya, but by the way… the name, it's _Mart_--"

"MARTIN, GET YOUR SORRY ASS _OUTTA_ _THERE_!" Luther shouted in his receiver so loudly that it squealed some feedback in his speaker.

"Luther!" I shouted, horrified. "We can't just _leave_ Declan there with that woman! They'll take him in for questioning, drugging, experimentation, torture— they'll make him insane, and then they'll _kill_ him, Luther!"

"Don't you think I _know_ that?" Luther argued back. "But it ain't like we got a hell of a lot of choice here, Zhen. For the good of the team, I'd rather save _all_ our butts than to get us all sold down the--"

"--Then open the door," I interrupted.

"_What_?"

"I didn't _stutter_, Luther; open the damn door. I'm going after him."

"When a building's on fire, Zhen, you should be happy to get out alive. You don't throw a towel over your head and run right back into the flames!"

"You do when there are lives to be saved. I'm not letting Declan get sent back to us piece by piece."

"How romantic," Blake scoffed cynically.

"Shut up!" I snapped at her. I looked at her for a moment, and in my rage I grabbed her by the collar roughly and brought her up to my eye level. "_You_ did this! _You_ sent Declan up the river for what he did to you!"

"Hey, Psycho, I've been _here_ the entire time! Why don't you check your facts before you start throwing accusations--?"

But I was done listening to her and had already focused my attention back on Luther.

"If you all choose to leave, that's fine by me, but I am _not_ leaving those men behind. If not Declan, then at least I can get Martin safely out of there."

I had a staring contest with Luther. He blinked first.

"Fine," he agreed at length, scooting aside to let me out of the van. "But I ain't stickin' around for your lovestruck butt."

"Understood," I said with a nod. "Give me forty-eight hours. Grab a hotel room nearby. I'll contact you if I succeed. If I don't… well, you'll know what to do."

I jumped out of the car and realized that Blake had also.

"What are you doing?"

"You're going to need my help, China Doll," she replied. "Or are you really stupid enough to think you can do this all by your incapable self?"

I glared at her and she glared right back. I was only mad because I knew she was absolutely right.

"Fine," I agreed reluctantly. "But we do this right and with no more bickering."

"Just do this _my_ way, and we'll be just peachy."

I snickered at her nerve and went around the back of the van to stock up.

-

**Please review.  
Signed,  
--RedRogue**


	8. Declan's POV: Background

**For those of you who requested a long chapter—you may regret those words. Even still, here you go. Make sure you have a moment to spend reading it all.**

**-**

**Chapter 8.**

**-**

**Declan's POV.**

-

Oh, it hurt. It hurt really bad. It hurt so badly I almost wished for torture.

My hands were tied over my head to the showerhead in Lucas's hotel bathroom, and she had spread bath oils on the shower floor so my feet would slip if I tried to get up. She sat next to me and watched me with eagle eyes that were supposed to make me crumble under her stare. No such luck for her. When I didn't give her an answer she liked, I got a slap in the face… or other places.

But that wasn't what hurt. I was trained to withstand pain and torture.

What hurt was that this lady had plans for me, and by now I knew my friends had aborted mission. It was policy: disavowing all knowledge and whatnot. Sure, they might be back to rescue me, but that would be a day or two at least.

What hurt was how much she knew about me, my family, my past… She had done a very thorough background on me. She knew all about me, and I didn't know a thing about her.

What hurt was the fact that I might die before I ever got to tell Zhen how I felt about her because I realized now, that I definitely did feel something for her. She was the only thing I had been worried about this whole time, not the mission, not Luther's mishaps, not my sticky situation and not even myself…

Just her.

"Working for IMF," Lucas explained. "It definitely had its advantages for a while. I still know all the little tricks."

I couldn't really focus on her words, for that horrible hand of hers was reaching for my midriff and it stole most of my attention. It wasn't every day a marked criminal femme-fatal on the worldwide most wanted list had a thing for me. I couldn't say it was a new experience I was enjoying.

"You would think they would get creative and think of a few new ones?" I heard her ramble on. "Perhaps it's hard for them, since Ethan Hunt left. He always was the most imaginative out of all of you. You make it too easy! All I do is load your picture into my computer over there, and BAM!"

I jerked in surprise when she slapped her palm on my stomach.

"I know everything, just like that! Amazing, technology nowadays, isn't it? Now," she got up and began to pace back and forth by me. "Feel free to correct me if I get something wrong… you are a convicted felon, correct?"

Her tone made me realize immediately she was searching for my undoing. All the information in the world, and she knew nothing of the real me, or my personal life. She was taunting me, in an attempt to make me believe she already knew it all, when I knew she was only fishing in the river. I stayed completely silent as she driveled on about me, being sure to give her no bites from me. Anything I said could very well be the _last_ thing I ever said.

"A carjacker--" she went on, describing my past as if I wasn't the one who had lived it.

"A teenager who ran away from home and spent most of your years as a hooligan who got a nasty enjoyment out of stealing cars… and when finally caught, you were given a choice… _prison_, or… 'Oh, we have a better idea'! Why don't we send you to IMF where you might be of some use? Best driver they've ever seen, am I right? Getting warm, am I?"

She sat down again, and that treacherous hand was finding its way to my chest once more.

"And let's not forget, you're allergic to crustaceans, love to be cleanly, and you fear any insect that sucks your blood."

Right now the only thing I feared was that long-nailed hand on my bare skin. What was she trying to achieve here? What could she possibly gain from keeping me here in this room? If she was going to kill me I wished she would shut up and just do it already. She didn't need to know about me to attain her desired ends. She baffled me greatly by all this chatter.

"What do ye want?" I asked outright. She gave me a daring smile.

"I should think it was obvious," she replied without hesitation. "I could've waited to expose you until _after_ we made love, but your damn friends were too ahead of the game. But… we _do_ have a few moments to spare _now_, if you happen to want--"

"--Don't even think about it, Lucas," I interrupted, offended by the very idea. "Don't try t' tell me that this entire thing, this whole setup—was fer _me_."

"That's not what I'm saying at all. You're just an… 'added bonus'."

"And yer Spaniard boyfriend? Costales?"

"More recreation that comes with the occupation. I do love my job."

"And what job would _that_ be…" I drawled with disdain. "A warfare supplier _and_ a whore?"

That's when she slapped me across the face for about the tenth time that night. I imagine my face was quite red and bruised by now.

"How dare you speak to me in that tone, young man!" she said with unrestrained rage. "Yet again you have just proven to me that I overestimate you all entirely. Did you even bother to do a background check on _me_ before you accepted this mission, perchance? If not, then it's no mystery at all as to why you don't even know what I'm after."

She stepped into the shower and turned on the faucet, letting the water rain on my head mercilessly. It was ice cold, and I couldn't help but shiver.

"Don't tell me you never get any 'added bonuses' in your line of work," she contradicted, coming much to close to me for my personal comfort. "I know I did when I worked for IMF. The opportune chances are simply overabundant."  
I shook my head in an attempt to get some of the water off my face and see her clearly. I couldn't keep an eye on what she was doing to me.

"Never took one," I replied as best I could through the loud drops and my chattering teeth. I felt her hands on me, her touch gentle at first, as if patting me down for any other useful items I might use in escape, but then her touch became painful as she injected me with something that required a very long needle in my butt. I groaned with the unexpected pain.

"Oh, I see now, and what a pity," she lamented as she drained the contents of the shot into me and stared at me closely. "You already have a love… What is her name?"

I fell silent. I tried my best not to let my face show that I was wondering how in the world she could tell that from simply _looking_ at me-- yet another thing that hurt my heart and head.

"Does she feel the same?" she pressed.

Still, I said nothing in reply to her provokes. I felt her drive the shot deeper into me in her fury at my insistent silence, and I tried hard to stifle my noise without very much success.

"Is she the Asian girl coming back for you on the second floor, or the blond?" she demanded of me, her voice changing into a much harsher tone at the drop of a dime.

My eyes now grew wide. Zhen… _and_ Roberta? My heart raced in a new hope. Someone was coming for me. _Zhen_ was coming for me. Shouldn't be long now, just enough time to play the cards right. In other words, stall.

"Neither," I recovered, deciding it best to argue and keep conversation going before she got any ideas. "An agent can't love anyone, you should know that."

"Ah, but your eyes tell different. It's the blond, isn't it? Men always go for the blonds first."

I chuckled. She spoke truth. I _had_ gone for Roberta first. But that was before I met Zhen…

-

"_Ethan! Good t' see you again." I slapped the hand of my old friend in a good shake, and he returned it heartily._

"_You too, Declan, you too," he replied. "Have you met Luther?"_

"_Nope, can't say I have." I shook the hand of the large black man warmly. _

"_Another one of Ethan's trainees, I presume?" Luther guessed._

"_Never had the full pride and privilege to take credit for that," Ethan replied for me. "Declan's trained in a different department. Transportation, language, the like. We met in acting class."_

"_Ethan was always the best at staying cool under pressure," Luther agreed giving me a pat on the back. "It's good to know you're learning from the best. You guys off to another session of our good ol' education?"_

"_Something like that," Ethan retorted with a smile. "I'm testing him and a couple others for the next few days."_

"_Can't say I'm lookin' forward t' it," I admitted. "With Ethan at the helm… Well, you get what I'm sayin'. No offense, Hunt."_

"_None taken," he replied hastily, chuckling it off. His eyes fell behind me, so I turned to see what had caught his attention. I saw what his eyes had fixed on… _

-

"What are the names of these women?" Lucas insisted of me, finally turning the faucet overhead off to talk serious with me. Still I was silent, off in my own little world, not even bothering to look her in the eye. Best not to give her the satisfaction of any reactions.

"Don't you know I can kill them both with the snap of my fingers? It's what I came to do, after all. Do you want Blondie dead? Do you want Miss Geisha Girl's heart ripped out through her mouth? _Do_ you?"

Some reactions can't be contained. As much as I tried to fight it, I inhaled sharply, and she noticed.

"It's the Asian, then, huh? Oh, killing her would be wonderful, you'll see. We can enjoy it together. How I _long_ to feel the last beat of that little heart in the palm of my hand…"

My own heart began to speed up. I didn't like it. She was getting to me and for once I couldn't control my emotions. What was wrong with me? I was angry with her for this but just as angry with myself for rising to her bait.

"We'll drink her blood with a teriyaki salmon and a light salad… Should be _delicious_."

I tried for the umpteenth time to rise to my feet but yet again slipped. She was making me feel not only helpless, but also hopeless.

Suddenly Zhen coming to save me was the last thing I wanted.

Not Zhen. Anyone but her…

-

_A tall, thin, and extremely beautiful Asian woman had just entered the room, capturing the full attention of all three of us men. _

_Most of the women around here were beautiful, I had soon realized, so her being easy on the eyes wasn't too much of a jaw-dropper. I guess good-looking women prove to be more useful around here. Still, I sensed something different in her, but passed the thought off just as quickly as it came._

"_Declan, this is Zhen," Ethan explained. "She's taking the test with you. You're going to have to work together with her, you know, as a team, in order to pass. Declan, Zhen-- Zhen, Declan. Get to know each other while I set up. I just asked you here to let you know that, and that the test has been moved to tomorrow."_

_Ethan smiled and patted Zhen on the back._

"_Good seeing you again," he said to her before turning to go, a moment that aroused curiosity in me. Ethan didn't hand out formalities with just any old trainee. I concluded that this one… must be good._

"_You watch out for Declan, huh?" Ethan said to her as he walked off. "He could charm the rats into loving him if he wanted. He breaks hearts for a hobby, so don't listen to a word he says."_

"_That shouldn't be too hard," she replied smartly in a smooth voice, her words falling from her lips like warm honey tea. "I find men easy to ignore."_

_Ethan sauntered off with Luther at his heels, and Zhen and I turned to face each other, shaking each other's hands courteously._

"_We have a bit of studying to do," she said decidedly._

"_I look forward to it," I replied with one of my best smiles._

-

Not Zhen. Anyone but her.

-

**Please review.  
Signed,  
--RedRogue**


	9. Zhen's POV: Rescue

1**Another nice long one...**

**-**

**Chapter 9.**

**-**

**Zhen's POV.**

-

I knew Declan had to be in that hotel room because our hacks into the security cameras hadn't shown anyone leave the room since he had gone inside. Though, between the time Roberta and I had left the van to the time we would get back there, anything was possible.

Martin, probably still with Declan's face on, was in a ventilation shaft, but he had screwed up on the escape route and gotten injured.

I was nervous this time around because I knew we were dancing on the edge of a knife with the risk of being physically caught. We were practically begging for capture.

I wondered then why Bobbie had decided to come with me. I found myself thinking once more… Could she possibly still have feelings for Declan? The thought remained in the back of my mind as we figured out a new point of entry.

"Why don't we take Declan's entry through the elevator shaft?" Roberta insisted as we walked.

"If we want to gift wrap ourselves in a nice little basket and hand ourselves over to them—Sure! Why not?"

"Well, I don't hear anything intelligent coming out of _your_ end!"

I looked over the satellite maps of the hotel on my small palm pilot. There had to be something else.

"What about this?" I said, circling an area and handing the contraption over to her.

"Alright," she agreed. "I guess it'll have to do."

-

"This is so _old_ school," Roberta hissed at me as we walked out of the kitchen wearing maid uniforms we stole from the laundry chute we had entered from.

"Stealing uniforms?" she went on. "Getting a cover as a maid? I didn't sign up for this. This was _nowhere_ in the job description."

Even I had to admit that they were ridiculous outfits, probably worn only on special occasions such as this banquet.

"Well, we _are_ in France, and we _are_ maids," I replied to calm her down. "Thus it only makes sense the uniforms are that of French Maids. Suck it up and grab one of those dinner carts. You go after Martin. I'll get Declan."

"Why do _you_ get to go after Declan?" she protested in a low voice.

I gave her a look.

"Give Martin one of these waiter uniforms and get out," I said at length.

"Fine," she conceded. "At least I'll return with the glory of a hero and _you'll_ be the one dead."

"Your optimism is simply inspirational."

Together Roberta and I pushed the cart to the very elevator that had caused so much trouble for us not twenty minutes ago. The guards let us by with no problem, though I spotted one checking us out as we waited for the elevator to come down to the basement level.

Once it dinged and opened and we were safely inside, I let go of the breath I was holding and sighed in relief.

"Degrading, isn't it?" Roberta observed as we waited for the elevator to reach the floor.

"What is?" I humored her out of boredom.

"Being abandoned for being valiant," she replied.

"Luther was just doing his job," I countered. "What would _you_ have done?"

"Aborted on strike one, _of course_. Our lives are worth more than any old mission."

"Glad to know you can really see the big picture of all this," I said with strong sarcasm.

That's when the elevator door opened to the party floor and to where Roberta was to get off to get Martin, but she was frozen in shock. She was staring at me with horror on her face, as if mortified by my words. I smiled in sweet victory. I had finally gotten the madwoman to shut up.

But my focus centered back on the mission at hand, as Roberta finally stepped out and I pushed the 'door close' button and continued up to Lucas's floor.

Once there, I pushed the dinner cart to door number 588 and took a deep breath. I kept my emotions in check before finally knocking gently on the door.

"Who's there?" I heard a female voice shout angrily from inside.

"Room service," I called back. "Dinner for two, courtesy of a Mr. Costales."

"And what a fine meal you'd make," I heard a man behind me say with a thick Spanish accent.

I turned to see the real Mr. Costales, his face smug and rather victorious, standing alone in the hall.

"You," he began accusingly. "You were supposed to be out when we drugged your drink. You must have outsmarted Esteban--"

"Wasn't too much of a challenge," I replied just as arrogantly as he was speaking to me.

That's when the door to room 588 opened. Out came Lucas, looking as if she was expecting us.

"Hello there, all of you. Costales, darling, put that gun away, we're among guests."

Now I was confused. What was this woman planning? Costales seemed just as puzzled as I was.

"Come, come! Come on in. Let us be civil and speak frankly."

As soon as Costales lowered his gun, I attacked by grabbing him by the wrist and flipping him to his back. I then grabbed the gun from him before kicking in his throat. He gasped for air then immediately passed out. I loved that move. It was one of my favorites. No doubt the man wouldn't be waking up.

Then I felt a hard feeling in my back, as if metal were pressing against it. I recognized the feeling almost immediately as a gun.

"You call that being _civil_?" Lucas wondered out loud. "What _are_ they teaching you at IMF these days?"

I dropped the pistol I had taken from Costales to the ground, and reluctantly put my hands up.

"Come with me," she commanded with obvious anger in her tone.

That's when I heard it. It was screaming, coming from the hotel bathroom. Coming from Declan.

"_AAAAGHHHH!_" he yelled.

My heart lurched in rage at what torture he was being given, and I glared furiously at Lucas.

"What did you _do_ to him?" I growled.

"Gave him a small dose of a new product. He has about five minutes left."

His pain suddenly became mine, for every scream of anguish I heard from him was another turn of the vice around my chest. It killed me to hear his shouts. "_AAAAGHHHH!_"

"A new evolution of cell-depreciation," Lucas explained to me. "A torture of a poison. I sell them for seven hundred a shot. Centers to your heart in seconds, attacking your blue blood cells and making them quite literally eat each other to survive. They call it the 'Blues', most commonly. I've been dying to test one but they're just too darn expensive to use on just any ol' body. When I captured your little friend here, I just knew there would be more of you coming. I saved one specifically for that occasion, so you could see it firsthand."

"_AAAAGHHHH!_"

Declan's shouts were becoming weaker. I could only imagine what he was feeling, and even that made me shake all over. Lucas picked up my chin and brought my face close to hers.

"Exhilarating experience, isn't it? Listening to the death of your teammate… He loves you, you know."

"Let him go," I commanded, my lungs heaving for air.

She laughed.

"_Why_? This is more fun than I've had in months."

I didn't know what else to say.

"You want to see him?" she asked, jamming the gun in my back and herding me over to the bathroom. I entered slowly, and immediately saw where Declan hung by his hands from the showerhead with his shirt unbuttoned and ragged, and his face red and bruised. Involuntary tears streaked his faces from his heavy exertions. He was a ghastly sight.

But I didn't bother to stare, just lifted my leg back suddenly and booted the door closed on Lucas, slamming it in her face. I quickly opened it again and kicked the pistol from her grasp and into my hand smoothly. After I grabbed a nearby lamp and crashed it on her head to knock her unconscious, I let out another breath I had been holding.

"Serves you right, bitch," I said, then spat on her and pocketed the gun. I harbored no mercy for her. She was killing my teammates simply for the fun of it.

All my attention turned immediately to Declan. I quickly untied his hands from the showerhead and let him lay down in the tub. I stroked his hair back to try and ease his pain and get him to focus on me.

"Where does it hurt most, Declan?"

He looked at me like I had just offended him. He coughed. Blue liquid trickled out of his mouth and down his chin.

"Blue blood?" I said in bewilderment. How was that possible, unless one of his aortas had burst? I prayed to God that it hadn't. It was either that, or something to do with this poison changing the color of his blood. It could explain why he was in so much pain. It could be attacking every vein and nerve in his body.

"It hurts in me chest," he groaned. "Like heartburn t' the thousandth degree. I need a blood transfusion and fast. She let it slip that a transfusion of a dissimilar blood type will reverse the effects."

"Why would she let something like that 'slip'?" I interrogated.

Again with the offended look.

"_Dyin' _here!" he harshly reminded me.

"But how can I…? How can you transfuse blood of a different type? Your body could reject it and start attacking the donor blood, and the risk of diseases… Not to mention I can't even _get_ to the polluted aorta… I have no shots, no tubes—no medical gear! There's no way I can possibly…"

"You'll have to make a hole to it."

I couldn't believe my ears.

"Are you _insane_? You want me to kill you to _save_ you? Come _on_, Declan…"

"I'm serious. It could work."

I sighed, and started to go grab Lucas to use her blood for the transfusion, but Declan grabbed my wrist.

"Zhen… her blood type's the same as mine."

It didn't take me long to realize what he was really trying to say. I was going to have to use my own, or nothing. I knew I could bleed to death.

"Make your decision, Zhen," he went on seriously. "Let me die, or risk both of us dyin'…"

When I only stared in reply, Declan sighed.

"There's a vent above me you can use as your exit. Make up a nice heroic story of my death for Brassel for me, okay?"

My eyes narrowed with determination.

"Like hell I will," I replied, pulling up my own sleeve and pulling out my pocketknife. I was going to have to use my own blood, and use it in controlled doses so that I wouldn't pass out myself. Why couldn't tasks ever just be uncomplicated? Again, Declan put his hand on mine.

"Zhen, I have t' say…"

I put my hand on his mouth.

"Shut up, Declan. I know you're grateful. If we live through this, we can do the 'thank you's' at a more convenient place and time than the here and now."

I hurried and opened his shirt to get at his bare chest.

"Not that…" he said, his voice fading and his eyelids falling lazy. I was losing him.

"Not that…" he repeated, before finally passing out. I stared at him in shock, blinking once or twice, but otherwise frozen. Lucas's words suddenly sprang to mind.

_He loves you, you know…_

But that couldn't have been what he wanted to tell me, I decided. He was a fellow agent. It wasn't just prohibited… it was downright impossible. With that, I shoved the thought aside and got to work. I cut a small but deep hole in Declan's chest, near his heart. I administered resuscitation once, just to keep him lively. Then I tenderly slit my wrist, and held it to his chest as my blood poured into him.

My heart was beating really fast, and my head was feeling woozy, and I wasn't sure if it was from the loss of blood or the fact that Declan could die at any moment. He had to live, so that he could tell me what he wanted to say. It gave me even more incentive.

"Com'on, Declan," I coaxed, giving him CPR once more.

I felt his wrist and neck, but no pulse was coming from him. I stopped breathing when I realized he had.

-

**To FlamingMushrooms: thanks for helping me out with the technicalities. I hope this makes the story a bit more realistic, and even if its not really correct medical science. Just remember—this is the movies! Even still, I hope I explained it away a little better, such as, the blue blood being an effect of the poison. If not, I'll have to say: "Dammit… Oh, well."  
To everyone: Please review.  
Signed,  
--RedRogue**


	10. Declan's POV: Scripts

1

**-**

**Chapter 10.**

**-**

**Declan's POV.**

-

"_When I was little I had a cat. When he would run away, I used to say a prayer to get him back home."_

-

It's amazing how once you begin to see your end, you see flashes of the life you've lived as if searching for the best parts of it… of the parts that made your life worth living. I didn't find a thing worthwhile in my younger days, as if all those years were merely wasted.

It was like my life started when I joined the IMF. Like there was no life before it.

-

"_Declan, what are you afraid of?"_

"_Unemployment."_

"_Oh. Then that means you live for the money."_

"_No… it means I live for the job."_

-

Now I was dying for the job. Death was so close now; I could feel it coming. The only thing I feared was dying before I could tell her.

-

"_You already have a love…" Lucas had said with her smug smile. "What is her name? Does she feel the same?"_

"_Neither…" I had replied. "An agent can't love anyone, you should know that."_

"_Ah, but your eyes tell different…"_

-

Zhen was working hurriedly to try and save me, but I knew it was too late. I put my hand on her to get to her to pay me attention. Gathering all my strength, I spoke.

"Zhen, I have t' say…"

She put her hand on my mouth. I hated that. The stupid girl needed to let me talk.

"Shut up, Declan," she commanded as she wriggled her hand out from under mine. "I know you're grateful, but we can do the 'thank you's' at a more convenient place and time than the here and now."

Then she went back to work.

It was too late. My sight began to fade, and it became a struggle to keep conscious.

"Not that…" I managed to breathe out, my strength finally abandoning me indefinitely.

"Not that…" I managed to say one more time, before all fell to black.

-

"_Say some of those 'cat prayers' for me, eh?"  
"Then you'll be sure to make it back…"_

-

-

Suddenly I was conscious again, though all was still black. It took me a moment to realize that was just because my eyes were still closed. Once I opened them, I saw an unfamiliar ceiling.

Once I focused and took a good look around, I saw I was in an examination room back at the IMF department base. An IV was hooked to my arm, and a heart monitor beeped my heart rate nearby. In anger, I yanked all the attachments off me, and the heart monitor responded with a solid flatline beep. Stupid contraptions. I felt weak, but other than that I felt fine.

As I sat up to grab my clothes off a chair nearby, Zhen burst into the room very suddenly, followed closely by a nurse holding several medical tools I didn't recognize yet still feared.

"Oh," Zhen said once her eyes met mine, stopping quickly in her tracks. She put a hand over her heart and let her breath catch up with her. "God, Declan…"

"Is he--?" the nurse began, but cut herself off once she saw me sitting up in my bed. "Nevermind, Dr. Grey," the pudgy nurse called down the hall with impatience in her voice while shooting me a harsh look. "False alarm."

Zhen sighed too and pulled up a chair to sit and recover for a moment.

"Don't scare us like that," she commanded, trying to catch her breath.

"I hate doctors," I replied as Zhen checked over my charts. "Didn't know you were that concerned, besides. Then again, you _were_ the one you almost died tryin' t' make sure I lived, isn't that right?"

"Your way of saying thanks, I'm guessing?"

I smiled for a moment at how well she knew me, then wiped the grin off my face and stared at her in all seriousness.

"Thanks, Zhen… I owe you."

"If you really want to thank me, you can put in a good word with Brassel for me. After this stunt I pulled, I'm sure to get the stiffest talking-to I've ever had. Might even demote me to a… _desk job_."

I gasped to play along with her jest.

"God, heaven forbid. Don't even joke like that."

"Anyway, I have to meet him the conference room at noon. You up for it?"

"_If_ you do me one more favor…"

"What's that?" she said, leaning in closer with suspicion clearly in her eyes.

"You answer me this: What made you do it?"

"I have a thing about leaving comrades behind to die."

She said it so quickly, so… rehearsed. I was strangely dissatisfied with this answer.

"Is that all?"

The disappointment must have been evident in my tone because her eyes narrowed at me even more, as if she was trying to see straight through to the wall behind me.

"Do you _want_ me to say something more?" she said sharply. "I wasn't aware I had a _script_ to follow--"

"--There's no script," I interrupted flatly.

Man, I was acting like a girl, trying to get her to admit something that I knew she would never admit. What was I expecting her to say anyway? We were silent for several moments. She was staring at me like she was trying to figure out the same thing, and I was concentrating on looking anywhere but at her. She decided on _something_ apparently and opened her mouth to speak.

"Declan… I--"

"Zhen!" Martin said, poking his head in the door. "Brassel said he wants to see you early. Probably can't wait to yell at you and Roberta."

"Thanks, Martin," Zhen replied with a heavy sigh, then got up to go. "Get well, huh?" she said to me, then much to my dismay, left the room.

-

**Please review.   
Signed,  
--RedRogue**


	11. Zhen's POV: Impossible

1

**-**

**Chapter 11.**

**-**

**Zhen's POV.**

-

I walked in cautiously into the conference room where Brassel was waiting for me. Roberta was already sitting before him, looking as if she were already getting yelled at, even though the room was so silent you could hear a pin drop. Luther was standing close by as well with his eyes to the floor and his hands folded neatly in front of himself.

I sat down next to Roberta in utter silence, feeling as if any noise I made would set Brassel off.

"You are aware of why you are here," Brassel said quietly and decidedly. I figured that was a statement more than a question and felt it best not to respond yet.

"You are aware… that during the course of your mission… you disobeyed a direct order from your pointman and observer Mr. Stickell."

I kept my mouth shut still, but obviously that was a question he felt I should've answered.

"Miss Lei, are you aware you disobeyed your pointman?"

"With all due respect," Luther defended me. "Sir, I made Declan point. I remained the observer."

Brassel put on a face that showed a mocking curiosity.

"Luther, was I looking at you?"

"No, sir."

"Did I say your name?"

Luther sighed and looked elsewhere.

"No, sir."

"Then why did you feel that you were allowed to talk at this time? I was asking Miss Lei; so Miss Lei, if you could answer me now, that would surely make my day."

"I am aware I disobeyed the rules of mission conduct, sir," I replied quietly.

"Alright… Mr. Stickell, since you are so eager to speak, I will ask you this… Did I not order _you_ pointman of this mission?"

"Yes, sir, so I figured--"

"And was it not _you_ who ordered the abort?"

"Yes, sir, but--"

"So _you_ gave all the orders but Agent _Gormley_ was point… I see… And did you _ask_ Miss Lei to go after agents Martin and Gormley?"

"Well, _no_, sir, but--"

"That is quite enough, Mr. Stickell. So, back to you, Miss Lei."

I noticed Brassel begin to pace now, which meant I was really in for it.

"What gave you the motivation to put not only _your_ butt on the line, but every butt currently residing in this _building_ by compromising our _security_?"

I lowered my head and didn't speak. I had a feeling he wasn't done yet.

"I like my job, Miss Lei," he said, his voice falling eerily calm. "I am not quite ready to give it up until my thirty-year retirement and the pension that comes with it, so that I might go buy a lake house with my wife and sit around a dock on a lawn chair with sunglasses and a piña colada and I am NOT going to let a couple of over-zealous agents get in the _way_ of that future—do you understand me?"

I nodded.

"Yes, perfectly, sir."

He shook his head sadly at me.

"You bewilder me, Miss Lei. Now I can understand Miss Blake doing something like this… but not you. You graduated at the top of your class, with honors, and you were even recommended to me personally, with boasts of how strictly you followed your orders. 'Anal', I believe, was the word they used. I have to ask, before I discipline you thoroughly for the grief you have caused this bureau… what made you do this?"

I glanced at Roberta and she only looked back as if awaiting my answer with interest. Maybe she was daring me to tell the truth about what really happened back in Paris. That was not going to happen.

"I felt it was wrong to leave two great agents to die when there was a chance of safe retrieval."

"Which is why Agents Martin and Blake found you bleeding to death beside Agent Gormley, is that it?"

I was cornered. I shut my mouth again and simply awaited my sentence.

"Seeing as you have never done anything like this before… and since everyone around here seems to favor you and your past work enough to stick up for you personally, I am going to let you off with a warning."

I perked up in utter surprise. He was letting me _off_?

"But do NOT be mistaken, Miss Lei. I hear one _rumor_ of you stepping out of line again and I will have you behind a desk for the rest of my IMF CEO career, so help me God, do I _make_ myself clear?"

"Yes, crystal, sir."

"Now go."

I got up to go and gave Roberta a shaky smile of encouragement before I walked towards the door.

"And Agent Lei," Brassel called. "Though it was the stupidest thing you have ever done, you and Blake _were_ successful in saving the lives of two of our top agents. For that you will be receiving stripes of courage in your files. But do understand: that had absolutely nothing to do with me."

"Yes, sir," I said while fighting a smile. "Do tell the person who did… that I thank them."

He nodded and waved me off, turning to face Roberta to chew her out next, and I exited the tense room. I was glad that was over.

I headed to my assigned dorm. No one really lived in their assigned dorms, and who could blame them? They were really assigned rooms to store our personal stuff in and happened to have a bed and shower in case we wanted a quick nap or rinse in-between assignments.

I lay down to rest my head after the stress of the mission and conference with Brassel. It wasn't easy listening to that man, and most everyone here thought he was unjust in the way he handled things, but one had to admit, he got the job done.

I looked to my door, sensing someone there suddenly, and saw Declan leaning against my doorframe with his hands in his pockets.

"Hi," he said naturally.

"Umm… hi?" I said, wondering why he was out of a hospital bed and standing in my doorway.

"How'd it go?" he asked.

"You mean Brassel."

I sighed and leaned my head back down.

"It was pretty brutal, as usual. But he let me off for some reason."

"Yeah, I know."

I looked up at him again.

"How? It just happened right _now_."

"Calm down, detective," he said with a taunting smile. "I arranged it."

I was surprised and a little unbelieving.

"How?"

"Aren't we full of questions? I told an ol' high-end colleague of mine t' approve it with the Head of Office."

"Let me guess: you slept with this colleague too."

He chuckled and looked at the ground.

"Actually, I _didn't_ with this one, you nosy git. Hunt's not really my type."

"_Ethan_ Hunt?" I smiled too. "I might've known."

Silence overcame the room and I just stared at him as he examined my floor.

"Did you have something else to say?" I said curiously.

"Not really. A simple 'thank you' might be nice from you, though."

"Oh, I see why you came," I said sharper than I meant to. "For a pat on the back. Is your self-esteem so low you need to go looking for praise?"

"I just said it might be nice."

"I'll thank _Ethan_ when I see him next."

"Are you angry with me?"

I didn't know how to respond to this, so I shut my mouth. I _was_ angry with him, but I couldn't place why. But I had theories.

I think it was the fact that he was being so nice and I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle him in my doorway looking like he had just rolled out of bed and even still, looking as unbearably handsome as he did. I especially couldn't handle that I desperately hoped that what Lucas had told me was true.

_He loves you, you know…_

So I did what women did best. I lied.

"I'm not angry with you. I just… I'm grateful. I really am."

Declan smirked.

"I know why you're angry," he said decidedly, disregarding what I had just told him as if I had never even said it. "You think you have t' owe me now. Well, you don't have to, just consider us even fer the whole 'saving my arse' thing."

"It's going to take more than your pitiful job-saving strategies for us to be even, Declan…"

He smirked again, finally stood up straight from leaning on the wall, and took a step to me. His head lowered slightly then. His eyes narrowed next and he looked at me very intensely.

It was a look I had seen once before—when I was telling him about the cat prayers. He had given me that look just before he asked me to teach it to him. It was a look that made me crumble and break under it like unwatered flowers under harsh sunlight.

"So tell me what I can do fer you," he said at last, his eyes locking on mine and not letting go. "To make us even, I mean."

Stunned, I found myself unable to speak. My voice had abandoned me. I got up slowly, rising to his eye level. I stepped up close to him, and he stepped up close to me. Much too close.

Immediately my conscience swarmed in on me and I stopped moving. What was I doing? What if I was wrong, and he didn't love me at all? Was I assuming too much here?

As he leaned for my mouth slowly, I realized I wasn't assuming too much at all. Whether he really loved me or not, he wanted to kiss me now, and was waiting for me to lean for him as well. It was so tempting…

Don't get me wrong… I did no such thing.

Oh, man, but how I wanted to. It was so hard to hold back that I thought I'd pass out from the mental strain. It was like I said before though: not only was this prohibited-- it was impossible.

When he realized I wasn't returning his advances, he pulled back, looking offended. It was a look that killed me inside to see.

"Declan…" I said and to my surprise, my voice cracked like I was choking on tears. "We can't…"

"Fer you I would," he replied without hesitation.

He seemed so confident… so self-assured. Why was he so ready to risk it all for me, just like that? Did he really love me that way?

"It's just one li'l kiss," he coaxed, leaning for me once more.

"No, it's not," I replied, pushing him back again. "If I kiss you, I won't stop."

He smiled and before he even spoke, I knew what he was thinking.

"What's wrong with that?"

Then I gave him a look that made him back away indefinitely and sigh heavily. He was quite obviously disappointed. I tried my best not to feel anything.

"Fine," he said in a low voice. "Another time, another place."

"No, Declan," I countered firmly, going to the door and holding it open for him to leave. "Not now, not ever."

-

**Please review.  
Signed,  
--RedRogue**


	12. Declan's POV: Broken

**-**

**Chapter 12.**

**-**

**Declan's POV.**

-

Rejection was not something I was used to. This woman… she had ripped me apart with so few of words. She didn't even seem to care. It was so easy for her to say:

"_Not now, not ever."_

Never is a very long time.

I walked out of her room feeling like I was walking out of her life for good. Though I understood why she had said it, it still hurt. I lingered in her doorway, looking at her once more before I turned the corner. I meant to say something more to her, some sort of futile protest, but she looked so determined that I didn't dare.

She only spent a day or two in the infirmary, getting minor blood transfers every day and when she had a high enough count she was out. I spent two weeks healing and still I felt like crap when they said I was good enough to go. She never visited me once.

After that, every day it seemed like I was only walking further away from her world. I woke up, went to work at headquarters and she wouldn't even look at me. It was like I wasn't even alive, much less visible. I wished hard for her to look at me. Sometimes people would catch me staring when I didn't realize I was. I would sit and send telepathic messages to force her eyes to look in mine. I would concentrate so hard, trying to will her head to turn my way. It never worked.

Not once.

And every time it didn't, it was another scrape on me like a cheese grater was rubbing against my internal organs.

"You had better watch yourself, Declan," Roberta warned one time when she had caught me staring at Zhen working with Reggie on some paperwork filing. Zhen's figure looked nice when she stood like that: like a crane poses when it rests a foot.

"I know _I_ will be," Roberta finished with a strong hint.

I snickered at the blond.

"There's nothing left to see," I mumbled with regretful sorrow and left her sight.

Late at night, when my day's work was done, I would walk in the door of my apartment, set my keys on the kitchen counter, stare down at the tiles and wonder what the hell had happened to me.

I came to the provocative conclusion that she was slowly killing me… and she was doing it very consciously. Maybe she had even planned this torment from the moment we met, who knew?

I was free before she came along. I was living the life, with an unpredictable, high paying job and a future in it. Even after she came along, still, I was fine. She was a small daydream easily put aside, a mere distraction that I readily ignored, if that.

But now… her rejection did something inside me. It made me come to the cruel realization that she was one woman I must never have. Yes, because she was an agent, but because of something else too. Something much more serious.

It was because of what she meant to me. Because she was the only woman I really wanted. What I was feeling-- it was very real and I knew it.

And that scared me.

What was really pathetic about it was that I didn't even have the guts to let her know.

Day after day we passed each other in those empty halls and her gaze would fall anywhere but on me. Time after time I would stare when I was supposed to be listening to briefings or updates. Was it really so hard to look me in the eye? Why wouldn't she just look at me? Was she afraid of me? Questions plagued my mind like the Ebola virus.

Oh yeah, she had planned this. There was no other explanation for this perfect of a torture.

"Declan?" Luther would say, jolting me back to the present. "Are you still with us?"

"Yes," I muttered quickly. "I'm listenin'—I'm all ears."

"Glad you could join us," he replied with a strong warning, and pulling his threatening gaze back to the projection screen.

"Lucas sent us a present today," Luther announced first thing when everyone was settled in the briefing room. "All nice in a pretty bow and everything."

"What kind of present?" Martin was the first to ask.

Luther stepped up to the table and slapped a piece of paper down.

"A traceable email. She's playing with us."

"But why?" Zhen wondered. "Another set up?"

"Oh, it gets better. The email came from _here_. Either we have _another_ traitor on our hands or she knows where we are. I am so _tired_ of this woman and her game that we don't know the rules to."

"What did the email say?" Roberta demanded, grabbing one of the papers Luther had thrown down.

"'Tis better to be vile than vile esteemed," he read from the paper. "When not to be, receives reproach of being, and the pleasure is lost, which is so deemed--"

"--Not by our feeling, but by other's seeing," Zhen finished.

And that's when it happened.

Zhen was looking at me when she said that, like the poem had some sort of hidden meaning that I wasn't aware of.

But I didn't dwell on it. In fact, I lost all thought entirely. Zhen's eyes had finally found mine, just for a slight moment. She looked at me with such a sorrow, or even a longing, but it disappeared as quickly as it came. Her face fell back to the emotionless expression she kept handy and the moment was gone so fast I wondered if it had really happened.

I decided that it most definitely had.

It was enough-- enough to keep me going. It renewed a hope in me that was lost. This story was not over yet. It was a good feeling that overwhelmed me all at once.

"What are you all smiles about?" Roberta snapped when she noticed I wasn't paying attention again to the report, but my smile couldn't be wiped away by her anymore. Not by anyone, really.

"I'm just in a good mood, is all," I replied with another grin.

"You know the poem, Zhen?" Luther asked in surprise. "Where is it from?"

"Shakespeare," she replied calmly. "Sonnet 121—Little known, but one of my favorites."

"What does it mean?" Martin asked.

"It means she's giving herself permission to be evil. She's living this way for the thrill."

Zhen put her head in her hands with frustration.

"She's nothing more than a common monster."

"Oh, the worst kind," I agreed. "She's not in it fer power or money. She's in it fer pure pleasure."

"You can't possibly think that she's doing this because she's _bored_," Roberta said with disbelief.

"Oh, she has to be vengeful too now," Zhen said. "After what we did to her boyfriend back in Paris."

"You outsmarted her too," Luther agreed. "She must like the challenge of you and Declan. Of all of us, really."

"Did you know that this high-priority, hit list woman had a thing for you, Declan?" Martin teased, shoving me with his shoulder.

"No," I lied with deep sarcasm. "I had no idea whatsoever. I guess when you get yourself captured and get poison needles jammed up your butt it sort of fogs your flirt radar."

"And what's your excuse the rest of the time?" Roberta scoffed. "Or do you _always_ screw up missions and get yourself caught?"

"Maybe if you weren't so chicken and you _went_ on a mission every once in a while you would _know_, Bobbie."

"Not _all_ of us feel the need to play the hero 24/7, Declan."

"Makes sense. I could see how it would be more fittin' fer you t' play the _villain_."

"Now, now," Martin refereed. "Children. Do behave."

"I _am_ 'being have'," I insisted. "Talk to miss 'panties in a twist'."

"Oh, get over yourself," she snapped.

"You first."

"Guys!" Luther clapped his hands loudly to stop us. "Com'on now. I thought you got all of this out of your system."

"No such luck," Roberta mumbled.

"_Anyway_," Luther said with a threatening tone, telling us that we had better quit now or suffer consequences. "Zhen just informed us that when we were in Paris, Lucas hinted a lead to her."

Luther pulled out another folder.

"Lucas told her that the answer to what she was looking for might be in her background profile stored in our archives. This is what we found."

He pulled out a piece of paper and read:

"Graduated training in 1989, majoring in the fields of snipers school, stealth infiltration, human psychology, and explosive chemistry."

"Well, what does that tell us?" I asked.

"Hold on, I'm getting there. After that she got promoted to field, and then was a lead pointman and one of the best retrievers on record. She could find anybody, anywhere. A few years back, she was the person who located Ethan's parents when he was triggered for a molehunt."

"That was _her_?" Roberta said, obviously impressed.

"She was very attached to this job," Luther explained. "People said that it was all she cared about. That was the reason she got fired. She cared more about the thrills and getting the job done than her own teammates, and later, her squad."

That's when it dawned on me. Luther saw my expression change and nodded in my direction to say I was now on the same brainwave as him.

"I see now," I said excitedly. "She's not in it fer a product… she's in it fer--"

"Stickell," Agent Conroy said with a loss for breath, poking his head in the room with a flushed face. "It's Reggie… He's been shot."

All manner of previous conversation was immediately forgotten. It seemed like everyone began to ask questions and rush to the door at once, including me.

"How did it happen--?"

"--Is he alive--?"

"--Who in the world would--?"

"He's alive," Conroy answered as we walked. "They took him into emergency care right away. He was shot just outside this _building_."

I caught on quick, and stopped in my tracks. The others did too.

"Was he sniped?" I asked.

Everyone caught on too after I said this, and looked intently to Conroy for the answer.

"Seemed like it," he replied with confusion. "Why?"

I met Luther's eyes first.

"She's found us."

"Hot damn," Luther replied with amazement. "She _is_ good. Lucas has found the new headquarters. Someone notify Brassel."

"I'm on it," Conroy promised and then left down the nearest hall.

"Do you think she had us tracked or followed?" Zhen asked to anyone who would listen—which was really only me.

"You heard what Luther said," I told her as her and I walked down the hall to our assigned rooms. "She can find anyone. That's what she does."

"But why snipe Reggie?" Zhen went on. "Why not wait for _us_ before giving away her location?"

"Maybe it was a warnin' shot. Maybe she has bigger plans fer us. Who knows really? I hate getting in the minds of madmen."

"God, I hate the French," Zhen declared.

I narrowed my eyes at her.

"What?" she asked as we hurried on down the halls.

"My father was French," I explained. After an awkward silent for a moment or so, I reluctantly let it go.

"Of course, he did beat you and then leave you with your mother when you were ten," Roberta had to add.

Zhen whirled her head at me with eyes narrowed. I knew what she was thinking, what she wanted to ask even though she knew the answer. Why did _Roberta_ know this? Why didn't I tell _her_? I shrugged it off, letting my expression tell her we'd discuss it later. That's when we heard a noise. A song playing—which sounded like 'chopsticks'. That's right: that annoying song beginners play at piano recitals.

Zhen looked embarrassed.

"It's me," she explained, and threw her gaze down at her pocket. It was her company cell phone. _Why would they be calling her now_? I thought to myself. _She's standing right here_.

"Answer it," Luther commanded.

She sighed, flipped it open and held it up to her ear.

"Yeah?"

Then her eyes grew wide.

"_Lucas_?"

Everyone else's eyes grew wide as well as they recognized the name. Martin hurried to the nearest desk to grab a tracer program. He motioned for Zhen to stretch out the conversation as much as possible.

"How did you get this number?" Zhen asked Lucas as switched the phone to speaker so we could hear.

"Oh, I'm sure your lovely little head can figure it out," she replied on the other end. "After all, you _do_ work in the same company I did, learned all the same things I did… You have to be sharp with me. You guys were a little behind in schedule though—guess I gave you more credit than you deserved. Anyway, I called so that Mr. Martin can trace this and you guys can come on down to pay me a visit again. We had so much fun last time. So since we have about forty more seconds to kill--"

Zhen looked at me then, with a strange look in her eyes that I hadn't seen before. It wasn't fear in them at first glance, more like the eerie absence of fear, but somehow I could sense the raw terror that hid behind them. She and I both knew what was coming next.

"Put Agent Gormley on the phone, would you?" Lucas's cheerful voice rang out through the speaker.

-

**Sorry it's been so long! As I'm sure you all can empathize, summer has been quite spontaneous and vacations have come in all shapes and sizes. Anyway, please review and tell me what you think.  
Signed,  
--RedRogue**

**PS. To FlamingMushrooms—I would still like your revisements, but since I took so long with this chapter I thought the readers deserved to get it as soon as possible. Sorry for that, and do sent it back to me soon. **


	13. Zhen's POV: Wait

**-**

**Chapter 13.**

**-**

**Zhen's POV.**

-

He looked at me as if I had betrayed him.

There was really nothing between us to begin with anyway, was there? Yet somehow, I couldn't help feeling an enormous amount of guilt. I would avoid his dejected gaze with every breath in me. I knew if I just looked at him once, just once, and I would surely burst out into tears. It was a torturous act, this thing called love. I was finally feeling the real version of it, heartbreak and all.

But the days went on and he wouldn't stop. I could feel his gaze always on me, sometimes even when he wasn't even there. Again, that had to have been the guilt thinking for me.

But I kept reminding myself it was the right thing to do and that fact was my sole comfort to lean on. It was wrong to lead him on for a relationship that could never be. Which was exactly what confused me so, as to why denying it felt so _wrong_.

Then when Lucas called my cell phone and asked for Declan, I lost it completely. I couldn't speak to save my life. A knot appeared in my throat and I could only choke on my words. Whatever did she have to say to _Declan_?

Thankfully, Declan stepped up to the speaker and took over, cool and collected as he always was.

"I'm here, Lucas," he said in his wonderful Irish accent. I saw his Adam's apple rise and fall as he gulped back the nervousness a second ago I had been so sure was nonexistent.

"Ah! Gormley, my dear!" she said as if they were old friends. "How have you been? Anyway, listen: I like you, plain and simple. So I'm going to give you a chance to save your own life. I want you to step down from the IMF."

"_What_?" Declan said in surprise.

"Oh, it's not so bad; I've done it before. Find yourself a lady friend, settle down somewhere and have a real human life. Maybe nab that Chinese number and save her life too by dragging her with you."

I spied Luther glance at me for a reaction, but I kept my face expressionless. How this woman knew what was going on between Declan and I was beyond me.

"I don't see why I have to," Declan countered. He was fishing, humoring her, which was smart of him.

"If you don't step down, you're just asking to die. Just like all of your friends. They're going to die too. Now, I'm asking you, Declan: are you going to resign or are you not? And you better answer fast, that nerve gas sure spreads quick and you know how I'm a sucker for a handsome face like yours."

My heart skipped a beat at her words and from the look on everyone else's faces they were just as surprised. I now realized this was her plan all along. The shooting, the phone call… it was just to keep us here so she could let whatever gas spread and exterminate us all. We could only wonder how much time we had left.

"Yes, clever little twit, aren't I?" she boasted to Declan as everyone, including me, suddenly began to scramble around gathering papers and files to evacuate. Luther rushed to a room with an intercom, to warn others in the large building.

"A tracer program for this call won't do you much good if you're dead, will it?" Lucas went on.

Declan was in shock, poor guy, and he was the only one who stood still in the entire room.

Then I noticed he wasn't in shock; in fact, his mind was still on the job! He wasn't staring off into space like I had assumed, he was staring at the last few seconds counting down from the tracer program to get her location.

That's when I saw it. The gas starting to drift into through the vents; an ugly yellow gas that spread quickly like she had promised. Luther tossed me one of those cardboard doctors masks and we fought our way through the smoky room to the emergency exit as the alarm blared above us and the red alert lights streaked through the fog.

Oddly enough, I looked around for Declan as we headed for the exit, and saw that he wasn't among us. Squinting through the yellow haze, I saw that he was still near the phone, waiting for the pinpoint of the location to print. He held a mask up to cover his face, but that wouldn't do him much good if he waited any longer.

"Declan!" I yelled to him. "Come _on_!"

Oh, why did I risk my life by lingering? What was making me feel I had to wait for him to make sure he followed?

"California!" he called back. "She's in _California_!"

"That doesn't matter now, Declan," I tried to persuade him. "Forget her!"

But he wouldn't move until he knew _where_ in California Lucas was. The gas was so thick now I could barely see him. I coughed a bit even through the cardboard covering. We weren't going to last.

"Zhen, what the _hell_ are you waiting for?" Charles yelled to me. "Get out of here!"

"Declan, _please_!" I insisted, my tone resorting to begging. "Come _on_!"

Then I could make out Declan through the mist, grabbing the paper with the final location and running toward me. I felt his arm go around me, grabbing me around the ribs and practically dragging me away. I didn't even realize that my legs had failed me and I had fallen to my knees.

Soon we made it through the hospital chamber doors and had locked ourselves inside. Charles, Luther, Bobbie, Conroy, and a couple doctors and nurses were all safely around too. They had thought like we had: the nearest door to the outside was too far away, so thus our next best bet was inside the sealed hospital wing, where air came from a shaft that filtered air directly from the outdoors, making sure that the patients had nice purified air to recuperate on.

"My lungs," I moaned, holding my gut like someone had lassoed me around my middle and every step was another pull at my stomach's expense. I only coughed, feeling heavy and limp all over. The gas must have spread more rapidly over me than it had to Declan, considering I was smaller in size.

Declan tenderly laid me on a hospital bed in one of the hospital rooms and watched as the doctors quickly got to work on me, sticking a plastic oxygen mask to force my breathing.

"She's gonna live, right?" Declan asked them in a small voice.

The doctor's didn't quite know what to tell him, which scared me. We didn't even know what this gas was, how it worked, or what it was even supposed to do… besides _kill_ us, that is.

They tried to get Declan on a bed too, but he wouldn't have it, muttering something about 'spending too much time in hospitals lately'. I just knew it was because he didn't like doctors and chuckled to myself at the memory of when I had found that out.

But soon, Declan too, helped himself to the bed beside me, having complaints about his head feeling funny. Whatever this gas was, it was ailing us bad. As time rolled on, our conditions only seemed to worsen and the few doctors we had were powerless on how to aid us.

I felt relieved at the report that we were seemingly the only ones really affected by the gas, probably because we had insisted on staying behind longer than Luther and the others.

Declan laid in the bed next to me, but I put up my practiced defense outside and again pretended like he didn't exist. I just concentrated on the ceiling like the meaning of the universe was hidden in the depths of the white spackle.

Everyone soon began to realize that we were probably going to be in these isolated chambers for a good long time. At the very least twenty-four hours or until the air monitor decided the dangerous fumes had cleared out enough outside. We didn't know how long that would take and if our conditions took a turn for the worse, Declan and I were in a word: screwed. Also, we could only hope that our other coworkers and superiors had made it out alive as well.

It was then I noticed that through all of this, Declan was staring at me. Again. Through all of our worries that could very easily plague our thoughts, especially that of not knowing if he and I were going to last the night… and he was spending his precious last moments staring… at _me_.

Well, what could one do… except stare right back?

I turned on my side and peered right back into those liquid eyes, now so light in color they almost seemed white from the life that was leaving them. We had been through so much together, Declan and I, and in my own precious could-be last moments all _I_ could think about was why the _hell_ I hadn't kissed him that day.

Suddenly things like the career and the mission seemed miniscule compared to what I had sacrificed to keep it. I began to think that my priorities were wildly out of sorts. What was the use of being a mission machine to a company that will never love you back? When it came down to it, it was only a job, a way to make money so that you could eat and have a roof over your head. It couldn't be your life, unless you wanted to only live half alive… Unless you wished to be a robot and not truly like a human being was meant to live.

All of those moments I had wasted holding back when I could have been spending them with him. For what? Nothing left in my hands that really mattered… and an even emptier heart.

At that moment, I considered my life sincerely, completely and utterly _wasted_.

And then he smiled at me. Declan bared those lovely rows of pearly whites and grinned broadly in my direction. It was intoxicating.

"_What_?" I said to him a little harsher than I had meant to.

"You waited," he explained blatantly, as a statement of a particularly glorious revelation that he was willing to share with me. I found it amusing of his choice of words, being so vague that no one would truly find the meaning behind them save for us. All he was trying to say was that he knew. He knew that I had risked my life only to make sure he made it out safe.

As such, I could not find any words to reply.

-

**Go, Flamingmushrooms! Do your thing.  
Signed,  
--RedRogue**


	14. Declan's POV: Betrayal

**-**

**Chapter 14.**

**-**

**Declan's POV.**

-

With nothing better to do but wait it out until the gas cleared outside, five agents, two doctors, and three nurses began to look for ways to entertain themselves in the abandoned hospital chamber. Luther sat down on the floor and began to write a note to his family, Bobbie began to jot down a final will (ever the optimist, she was), and Martin requested a cigarette.

"I thought you quit months ago," Bobbie asked him curiously. He promptly shook his head no.

"I've been craving one like mad ever since," Martin replied, his British accent dripping with Cockney as usual. "I didn't mean to quit, you know. Was just always so busy on jobs and such, never really had a moment to spare like this."

At this, Bobbie chuckled and went back to her last testament. Luther pulled one from a pack of Camels in his coat and lit it for Charles and Charles just greedily smoked the hell out of it for all it was worth.

I watched all this from the archway between the lobby and the hospital chambers, being discontent with staying in that ghastly hospital bed, even if it did mean I got alone time with Zhen. It wasn't worth it anyway, since she certainly had made it clear about what our relationship should strictly be limited to… and also the fact that she slept almost _all_ the time. The gas had gotten her worse than it had me, which I felt a large quantity of guilt for. She had been waiting on me to get out safely and in return she got the worst dose of us all. I could only hope this sickness would pass.

I leaned my shoulder against the doorframe, trying to sort through my feelings of confusion. She was giving me mixed signals, for certain. One minute, she's draining the blood out of her own veins just so I can live, she's leaning for my mouth, she's risking her very life for me _again_… and then the next, she's telling me it was all only for the job, she's pulling away from me with that cold, harsh glare on her already sharp features and she's swearing she'll never love me like that.

And then she gazes over at me in that way. That way that makes my internal organs do all kinds of wild gymnastic feats. That way that assures to me that her heart is screaming one thing, her brain rationally pleading another.

I knew my love had to be pure, since she didn't make me think animalistic dirty thoughts the way other girls usually did (I am a _man_, after all), but my fantasies of Zhen were surprisingly simple. When I looked at her, I itched only to stroke her flawless porcelain cheek with my knuckles, to bury my face in her silky brown hair to breathe in the surely intoxicating scent of her shampoo, and to touch her flower petal lips with the ends of my fingers.

And, of course, kiss those very lips until the day I died.

A girl that did that much to me was surely worth taking the time to consider carefully.

But, ah, yes, there was the nagging issue that was the occupation I had worked so hard for. I was good at it—well, save for the minor slips like back in Paris with Lucas…

Even if I chose Zhen over the job, would she be able to do the same? And what if we broke up; though now it seemed highly unlikely from my end, I still couldn't bear the thought of dealing with _another_ bitter ex if it ever did happen. Her and Roberta might start a Declan-haters club or something.

I sighed. There was no getting around it. I had to get over it. Maybe when Brassel got back I would ask to get reassigned. Severing all contact would definitely help, I supposed. With any luck, I would never have to look into those lovely Asian eyes again. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed like the best choice.

So it was decided. I would stop this stupid coworker crush and continue to be married only to my job once more.

After a while of hanging out in the lobby gathering my thoughts, I figured I'd do my hourly check on Zhen. I assured myself it was perfectly harmless, healthy concern for a fellow teammate…

Yeah, I didn't believe that lie either.

But I couldn't exactly dissolve all my feelings for her at once, could I? Though, the thought was of small comfort. So with a grin on the edges of my mouth and that familiar excitement creeping back into my chest in anticipation of seeing her face, I padded down the hall to our hospital room without anyone noticing I had left.

I peered in the doorway to find that she was still sleeping. She looked so peaceful in her sleep, though I knew if the situation called for it she could be deadly. It was one of those wonderful quirks of a female agent that added to their flair. It was why if they went out for drinks they would be the first to be flirted with every time. It was as if guys could smell that extra vigorousness to them a mile away. Not to mention that eighty percent of all the female field agents were good-looking.

Just watching her chest rise and fall in her rhythmic breathing made my throat tighten and my heart thump against my ribcage. It seemed the more I knew of how much I couldn't have her, the more I craved her like air. I was perfectly contented enough just to stare at her until otherwise diverted.

It was obvious after a moment that she was dreaming. She was twitching in her sleep and muttering something I couldn't make out. I stepped closer to hear her better.

"Mmphget," she breathed.

Still, I went closer.

"Doennan," she mumbled on.

I knelt down to her level and came so close our noses almost touched. I could hear her quite clearly now.

"Don't," she said a little clearer. Her voice was strained, like she was choking on tears.

"Declan…"

I smiled broadly when I heard my name clear as a bell escape her lips. She was dreaming about me. The smile dissipated when I realized she was dreaming something that was disturbing her.

"Zhen," I whispered to her, trying to give her mercy and wake her up from whatever nightmare had come upon her. "Zhen, open your eyes."

Immediately her eyes flew open wide, though the rest of her now laid perfectly still. She seemed surprised and slightly confused at the fact that I was so close to her face.

"What'd I do?" I asked her.

"Huh?" she spat out, probably still trying to gain back all of her consciousness.

"Ya said my name while ye were sleepin'. Ya sounded upset—what'd I do?"

She sat up in bed and put her palm on her temple, her eyes lost in thought. Then she looked at me as if I was a stranger.

"You were--" her voice faded lamely as she spoke, as if she was embarrassed at her confessions. "Never-mind."

I could tell she was trying hard to make her eyes look elsewhere.

"Hey," I said, tilting my head to catch her line of sight. "It's alright. It's probably a side effect of the gas. You have to let all of it clear yer system."

I got up, feeling the intense desire to serve her. I stood up and got serious.

"I'm goin' t' get you food. Ya haven't eaten since yesterday. Ya think ye can handle somethin' solid?"

"Declan." I froze once again at the sound of my name. "I need you to sit down."

I obeyed like a dog, and immediately my butt met the edge of her bed.

"We need to talk…"

My throat tightened even more.

"About…" she sounded as if she was forcing the words out. "You know…"

"--I've been doin' a bit of thinkin', Zhen," I interrupted, pushing aside whatever mental block was inhibiting my cool. "It was a really stupid thing t' do. As soon as Brassel gets back, I'm gonna have him reassign me."

"What?" she spat out in surprise. "But--"

I stared straight ahead, not wanting to look at her and suddenly crumble and decide to change my mind. I waited patiently for her to find the words to reply. She seemed surprised, which in turn, surprised me as well. Didn't she figure that I would come to this?

"'Not now, not ever'… Right?" I said coldly.

I knew that now I was just being cruel, getting revenge with the very words she had told me that day she had rejected me. Remorse immediately followed.

"Declan," her voice was low and cracking, letting me know for certain what I just said had hurt her bad, but when I looked her in the eyes she seemed almost _surprised_ at me, like my words had given her a sort of revelation.

"I really got you deep, didn't I?" she said, the shock on her face matching her tone of voice. I looked anywhere but at her.

"That's not really relevant anymore, is it?" My heart felt like it had turned to stone, speaking to her so callously.

"Zhen?" another voice said from the doorway. We both looked to Roberta, who was standing rather impatiently waiting for Zhen to answer her. Zhen took a moment or two to finally get around to it.

"Yes?" her voice suddenly natural and strong.

"Doctor Slauss wants to check on you real quick. Said to come in the lobby."

"Oh," Zhen said, throwing her legs over the side of the bed and getting up. "Sure."

She rushed past Roberta like she was relieved at escaping a tense conversation, or maybe wanting to return to it as fast as she could manage.

When she was gone, Roberta still remained, gazing at me in the doorway. Her very presence annoyed me. The wonderful feelings in me caused by Zhen's company were replaced only with disdain.

"What?" I asked her harshly.

"Did I interrupt a tender moment?" she taunted cynically. "Pardon me if I don't feel sorry."

"You never did," I snapped right back. Why did she insist on visiting with me? It wasn't like we had much to say to each other.

"There _was_ a time, you know," she said calmly, strolling over to me with an intense swagger. It was then I began to grow nervous. "When you were very attracted to me."

"I tend t' repress that memory," I said, taking a small step away from her advancing stride.

"There was a time when you couldn't get enough of me… especially at night…"

I began to feel a nauseating sensation in my throat and stomach at the very flashes of memory.

"It wasn't so outlawed then since we were only trainees," she went on. "But this 'you and Zhen' thing has to end."

"Not that it's any of yer business, but it's already over," I assured her.

As footsteps came down the hallway that most assuredly belonged to Zhen, Roberta's green eyes glared daggers at me.

"Believe me, Declan: I'll let you _know_ when it's over."

It was a confusing vow, one that disconcerted me a little, since Roberta wasn't known to break her promises and one could only guess what she was planning in that twisted head of hers. Roberta grinned that evil, conniving little smile she couldn't help but do… I took another step away from her, fearing what she was planning…

Suddenly she launched herself on me, her mouth falling on mine, much to my complete surprise. It was horrid, though her lips were as soft as I remembered them, they were a bitter taste I had vowed never to taste again. I groaned through the few moments of connection with utter disgust. As soon as my composure was regained, I shoved her far from me, wiping her sickening saliva off my face.

It was then I spotted Zhen, standing in the doorway, looking back and forth from the two of us with anger flaming in her eyes. I watched as her face slowly returned to its cold, emotionless form that she forever bore much to my heart's expense. Once again, there was that look that killed me inside to see.

"It's just like my dream…" Zhen breathed.

I strived for something to say, anything… anything that would remedy the situation at hand, though I knew nothing would. I watched as Zhen covered her watery eyes and walked back the way she had come in with wide, distressed steps.

My chest caved in and my throat clenched shut, knowing quite well what misfortune had just befallen me. Anger filled the hole now suddenly in my heart-- anger directed toward one person.

"_You…_!" I hissed at Roberta, though it hardly made me feel any better. "You…!"

But there was no word that could describe that woman of scorn.

"_Now_," she growled wickedly in my ear so that only I could hear. "It's over."

-

**Ah, a cliffhanger. I seem fond of those. Sorry about the long wait. I wanted to wait until the movie came out on video before I posted a new chapter. Now updates shall be weekly. Please review.  
Signed,  
--RedRogue**


	15. Zhen's POV: Confession

**Chapter 15**

**-**

**Zhen's POV.**

-

It was a deadly sight, one that I had only seen in my nightmares. Seeing it unfold in reality was an entirely different story.

To have witnessed such a treachery with my own eyes was a thing I wouldn't soon forget. He had not even tried to defend himself, just stood there like the wretch he was with shock on his lying face.

It confused me, then, as to why he had shoved Bobbie away from him with such repulsion. Perhaps it was for show, because he knew I had been watching. Perhaps he still wanted to play us both.

Or perhaps it really _had_ been against his will…

I didn't know what to believe. Just the simple fact that Declan's lips had rediscovered his ex's by whatever reason in the first place was enough to plunge my heart into the depths.

I found refuge in the nearby bathroom, but couldn't find the nerve to cry, though my eyes begged for it insistently. Agents could not cry. Emotion was not allowed.

Even still, I put my face over the toilet, feeling the intense need to vomit at any second. This rock at the pit of my stomach had no signs of leaving anytime soon, unless through regurgitation.

A pounding at the door made me jump.

"Zhen," I heard Declan's voice say my name. "You in there?"

I looked at myself in the mirror. This was foolishness, getting so upset over a man. What was the matter with me? Had I really gotten so attached to him to be hurt this way?

"Open the door," he commanded, his tone composed with practiced serenity.

I was stupid for allowing it all to go this far. Perhaps his reassignment was the best for everyone.

That's when I threw up. I excused it away by telling myself it could only be an effect from the gas, but I didn't believe it. After I flushed the toilet, he knocked again.

"Zhen, are you alright?" he said in a lower voice, sounding genuinely concerned.

I wiped the tears off my face and fixed my hair. There was no way I was going to let him see me like this. To let him have that satisfaction of getting to me— there was no way in _hell_…

Once satisfied I looked completely presentable, I opened the door and faced Declan with an emotionless smirk.

"Of course I'm fine," I lied smoothly to the best of my acting abilities. He seemed rather stunned, in fact, at how well I seemed. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I, uh…" he stammered, not knowing what to say. "I thought…"

"Oh, you and Bobbie?" I said, continuing down the hall in a natural stride. "Glad for you. Don't worry though; I won't tattle."

He made a few more noises from his mouth in pure astonishment, but none in the form of words. I lifted a hand in the air to wave goodbye.

"No need to thank me, Declan, as always."

Finally he found words.

"Are you _mad_?" he spat out.

I stopped and turned to him, fully cool and collected.

"No, I'm not angry at all!" I replied with my phony cheer beginning to falter.

"No, that's not what I meant," he countered, walking up to me. "I mean, are you _insane_?"

I opened my mouth at his accusation but he didn't give me a chance to get a word in edgewise.

"Ya just saw me with my _face_ on _Roberta's_… and all you can say is: 'I won't tattle'?"

I shifted my feet uncomfortably, wondering where Declan could get off confronting me about this.

"_Again_ with the script direction, Declan!" I laughed back tears. "Is there something you're wanting me to say?"

He looked at me with disbelief and was silent for a moment.

"Well, _yeah_!" he said as if it was common knowledge, his anger rising at my mocking tone. "I should think it was quite obvious what I _want_ you t' say!"

He began to storm off, leaving me in stunned silence, not waiting as I gathered my breath to speak. How did _his_ mistake get turned on _me_ was what I would like to know.

"How did _your_ mistake get turned on _me_?" I asked aloud. At this, he turned back to me with a completely different look in his eyes. Was that… begging?

"Look, I'm sorry about that, okay?" he said regretfully. "Dear _God_, am I ever sorry… You have t' believe me when I say she _threw_ herself at me… She did it because she knew it would break us, you understand?"

Somehow, I believed him fully and without a glimpse of doubt.

"Is there something to 'break', Declan?" I said in a low voice. He responded with a small, but very smug, grin.

"Why don't you ask the tear stains under yer eyes, huh?" he said as he lifted his hand to my face and slid his thumbs under my eyes gently, wiping away the wet lingering. I jerked my face away angrily from his tender hands, much to his bewilderment, and went on my way down the hall.

-

The next morning, the computer monitor said the oxygen was finally clean enough to step outside. The doctor kept me around for a little while to do one more check up, gave me a few antibiotics, and sent me on my way. We found that some of the lower levels hadn't even been hit with the gas, but Brassel sent us home for the day anyway, telling us that we would be called back when things got back to order. On a normal day, I would've glad for a little time off, but for some reason the thought of going home to my empty apartment was just too unbearable to face.

Instead, I opted to help around the headquarters to clean up the mess and to help pack up files for evacuation. Heron informed us that thanks to Lucas finding where we were, we would be leaving for a new location in a few days.

The other confined hospital wing captives followed my example and stayed to help as well, all except for Bobbie who said she couldn't wait to sleep in her own bed again and Conroy who craved a 'real meal'.

We worked deep into the afternoon, until Heron set us off to our assigned rooms to pack our belongings there. It was only then I realized how few of belongings I really had.

But the sad part was, I had more personal belongings in my assigned room than I had in my own apartment.

I finished sooner than I had expected, so I decided to rest a bit on my bed. I had only meant to close my eyes for a few minutes, but instead awoke to the sound of a tapping at my door.

"Hey," Charles said as he poked his head in the room. "Sorry to wake ya, but we're all finished and they're lockin' up the place."

"Oh," I said in surprise when I glanced at my clock. "Wow, I didn't realize I slept so long. Tell them I'll be right out."

"Sure thing," he agreed and left me to it.

I grabbed my bag of things and headed down the hall to the elevators. As luck would have it, Declan was heading there as well.

Once there, he pressed the button for us both and we waited in uncomfortable silence. Suddenly I realized how very quiet it was. Almost everyone had already gone home and some of the lights around had been turned off, giving the dim fluorescents above us an eerie feel.

Declan kept glancing at me quickly and shamefully like it was illegal to do so. I refused to look him in the eye, but I could see him well enough out of my peripheral vision.

At last, the elevator dinged and we entered inside to a forced nearness. The elevators were not very spacious and Declan was wearing his large puffy green jacket that he always liked to wear. I thought it looked ridiculous on him and had told him so before, but still he insisted on wearing it.

"So…" he said to me, his voice echoing off the close walls. "Did you get enough sleep?" I kept my eyes fixed on the electronic numbers above the door that indicated what level we were on, wishing it would go faster. I answered him short and to the point.

"More than enough," I said. The numbers boasted of the seventh floor. Only nine more to go…

"So you're pretty well rested?" he went on.

This time I looked at him.

"I suppose," I said. "Why?"

Only six more to go…

"Oh," he shrugged it off like it was no big deal. "Luther, Charles and I were going to go out for a couple drinks, is all. You know, since we're on vacation tomorrow. I wanted to know if you wanted to tag along."

Five more to go. It was too long to avoid answering… and too long to answer negatively. The more I thought about it though, the more it seemed like an okay idea. It wasn't like I was going to be alone with him and the fact that we had a vacation day to sleep it off was a rare opportunity that was a shame to waste. Plus I still had that heavy reluctance to go back to my empty apartment just yet.

Four more to go. Declan looked at me with steady patience, awaiting my answer expectantly.

"Alright," I decided. "I'll meet you there."

He didn't have to explain where 'there' was, since there was only one pub the agents liked to hang out at. It was a local bar, a hole-in-the-wall kind of place where the people came to know us and where could sit comfortably at a table and not fear to be overheard.

He seemed overjoyed that I had agreed, though he tried his best to hide it for my sake.

After a few more moments the elevator finally opened and released me. We parted ways, each heading to our cars.

Once I got in the cab of my Audi, I sighed. That all too familiar feeling was creeping in on me again; that tense, excited feeling in my throat and chest. I took a few moments to suppress it. I was supposed to be angry at Declan for what he did, but my body seemed to be already forgetting it.

I put my keys into the ignition and started the car. The drive was short but I fought my rapidly beating heart and loss of breath the entire way. Once I parked in the lot of the pub, I realized it was useless to try and steady myself.

I pulled off my seatbelt and fished in my few packed boxes for a clean shirt. I spotted my white silk halter that I never wore. I had bought it a long time ago because it looked good on me. I had figured I'd wear it to a club. Unfortunately, there was never time for that sort of thing.

Until tonight.

I wondered if I should put it on now, to give it that chance it deserved. Did I really want to look good for _him_?

I grinned and grabbed the blouse excitedly. I shed my dirty black top and exchanged it for the white one. The chilled silk felt good against my warm skin. Then I checked my reflection in the rearview, and fluffed my hair a bit.

Still unsatisfied, I checked under my seats for stray make-up. The only ones I found were some brown eyeliner and pale peach lipgloss left over from a mission in Moscow. It'd have to do.

I was about to fish through the boxes for some mascara, when I caught myself. What was I doing? This was definitely overdoing it. All for a man?

I was acting stupid, like a boy-crazy little schoolgirl. I angrily shoved the lids back over the boxes, grabbed my purse and exited the car. I was certainly upset with myself over how I was behaving, and angrier that I couldn't control it.

Declan saw me coming and held the door open for me to enter. I wondered if he had seen my little display out at the car and hoped desperately that he had most certainly _not_.

I followed him over to the high table and casually searched for another familiar face. Usually Luther stuck out like a sore thumb in a crowd, but today I couldn't spot him.

When we neared the tables and still saw no other person around, my heart lurched and it dawned on me quickly.

I had been set up.

I knew I should have been furious, but I couldn't help but fight a grin at Declan as he pulled a chair out for me to sit.

"So where's Luther?" I challenged, doing my best to stifle my amusement. He fought his own as well, but failed more than I, seeming rather pleased about his deception like a naughty kid that had played a funny prank and had been found out. Like the prankster, they would do their best to put on a façade of remorse to lessen their imminent punishment, but inside were absolutely giddy about it all.

"He, uh," he lied through his embarrassed smile. He and I both knew he had been found out, but he went on with the charade lightheartedly. "He… couldn't make it."

"Uh huh," I said agreeably. "And Smartie either, I presume."

"Yeah," he fibbed smoothly. "He couldn't make it either."

I nodded and chuckled under my breath at this guy's gall. We were silent for a few moments, staring at each other as we listened to the faint oldies playing on the jukebox. Al Green's gentle voice flooded the otherwise silent bar. Even the bartender was quietly wiping shot glasses to prepare for the coming day. Dawn was only in a few hours.

"Look," Declan said seriously. "It was the only way I could get you t' come."

"I _know_," I said with a strong hint letting him know I wouldn't have come otherwise. "So you lied to me just to make me do something I didn't want to do, even after that whole Roberta thing and you still risked me blowing it all in your face—which you know I have every right to do--"

He put his hand on my mouth and I immediately fell paralyzed, like it was the 'off' switch to my brain.

"Don't wig out, I just want to talk," he reassured me, then let go of my 'off' switch. "Buy you a drink?"

"No," I replied firmly. "I want to make sure I can drive home."

"I'll drive you home," he offered.

"That's the _last_ thing I want you to do. _Especially_ when I'm drunk."

He threw his hands up in surrender.

Finally I set my purse down on the chair next to me and gave him my full attention.

"So talk," I commanded, then I tapped my fingers on the table impatiently, wishing he would just get on with it already so I could leave. Suddenly home seemed a whole lot better than being here.

"Look, what you said earlier…" he said seriously. "About not caring… If it's true…Well…"

He faded off, probably not liking what he was saying, but he pressed on anyway.

"If it's true then there's nothin' t' worry about, is there? I'll back off… I _will_… But I need you t' tell me. Tell me so I'll believe it. Tell me so you believe it yerself."

"Declan, not here…" I shook my head as my cheeks went warm. The bartender looked up from Declan's distant raised voice, though seemed in the dark as to what we were saying.

"Why not here?" Declan insisted. "We're on vacation; there are no IMF personnel fer miles. We're civilians now. We're free. So as such, as civilians, we can say anythin' we like. As a civilian, as a normal human bein', I need you t' tell me what's really goin' on in yer head, because I don't think _you_ even know."

"Declan, stop--" I begged him, but he was too hot now.

"No!" he protested, slamming his hand down on the table. "I've been achin' over you fer too long, too _hard_…" He slammed his hand down again, trying to make me grasp his point. "Don't you get it? _Every_ time you get shot at I lose my head, every time you dangle from a helicopter I can't fly straight, I can't _breathe_ until I know you're alright. Don't you understand what the hell you've done t' me, woman? What you're doing right now?"

He was on his feet now.

"You've _RUINED_ me! I used t' be headed straight for the top. The best of the best. The mission machine, always planned, equipped and executed-- perfectly every time-- no distractions… I think you owe it to me-- this much at very least-- to _answer_ my _question_… _WAS_ it the _GODDAMN_ _TRUTH_?"

I wasn't sure he realized what he had just confessed to me through his anger, but I was too stunned to tell him anything. His soul was open right now, mine for the taking. He was asking me if I wanted it. What could I say?

I had to say something. He was right; I owed him an answer at least. But I couldn't speak. I had to let him go, to tell him what he was trying to get me to say and just end all of this. But somehow, the words were stuck in my throat, clinging there and not coming out.

He grew even more upset at this new rejection, until finally he grabbed his coat and headed for the door, commanding me coldly to get some sleep.

-

**Please review.  
Signed,  
--RedRogue**

**PS. See my Declan/Zhen tribute to the song 'Everlong' video on YouTube now!**


	16. Declan's POV: Heaven

**A/N: Some suggestive themes in this chapter. You have been warned.  
(PS. This is my favorite chapter yet) **

**-**

**Chapter 16**

**-**

**Declan's POV.**

-

It so quiet we could hear each other breathing. I was breathing heavily from my sudden outburst of rage not a moment ago. I don't know what came over me, but it was too late to back down now. Far too late. I had said too much.

But there was no remorse. I was tired of this, of this game and us not being able to just say what we meant to, to do what we wanted to. I loved her… and I loved her only. There was no shame in this. Not anymore.

All she had to say was that she meant… even if it tore me in half.

When she said nothing, I nodded, not knowing what else to do. My anger was still strong in me, but I was now rendered speechless at this revelation. There was no love in her to give to me. I couldn't will my feet to leave, though that's what I felt like doing. It was over for real now. She was determined not to feel anything for me and it was best to just leave it at that.

That look of hers was making me uncomfortable. She looked at me as if she had x-ray vision again. I hated that.

I also hated the way that single lock of hair always fell in her face, just begging me to push it back into the rest of her hair. I hated the way she never smiled around anyone but me.

But most of all, I hated that the expression currently on her face told me she craved every one of those simple fantasies I always desired when I looked at her. It was such a familiar begging, when women are so completely lost to you that you could ask them anything and they would do it for you.

_Lies_, I reassured myself. _All lies, Declan_.

I frowned and kept repeating in my mind that she wouldn't care that way. She had made it quite clear the last time I had risked everything to try and just go for it. I just needed to back off, to leave her alone and let her live out her career dreams. I decided to stick with the plan and get reassigned as soon as I could. It was surely the only way I would stay sane.

"Get some sleep," I commanded roughly, then headed for the door.

But as I stepped toward the door, I felt four small fingers slip into my hand, then grasp it firmly to prevent me from walking any further.

My heart stopped and so did my breathing. My brow furrowed in confusion as I looked down to those little golden fingers as if to make sure they were actually there.

_Oh, God_…

It wasn't a lie.

I dropped my favorite puffy green jacket to the floor in my surprise and didn't bother to pick it up again.

"Even if we are civilians today, Declan," she said seriously. "We'll still be agents the next day."

I grinned broadly.

"Then we'll have to enjoy it while we can, won't we?"

She smiled at me sweetly, the cold, hard woman from yesterday disappearing for good, it seemed.

I let out the breath I couldn't hold in anymore. We stared at each other for a long moment, saying it all between our eyes. I would've kissed her had I found some hint of invitation in her, but this moment was delicate and I didn't want to blow it.

With that hand of hers holding mine gently but firmly she led me onward, her smile promising me it would all be worth it in a few seconds.

She led me through the tables to the swinging door of the women's lavatories and as soon as that door closed behind us her mouth leaned close to mine, breathing heavily in anticipation.

"This will change _everythin'_, you know," I warned her, but as soon as the words slipped from my throat, I regretted them. I could've kicked myself for letting myself say something so foolish. Of _course_ she knew that… we both did… we knew it so hard that it might as well have been burned into our foreheads.

Then she looked at me with those eyes. Those eyes that said she was beyond caring for anything else but me. The eyes that said she would love me even when our beauty faded and IMF burned to the ground.

"It's worth it," she confirmed this in a voice barely above a whisper, then lightly brushed her lips on mine lightly, just to bashfully ask for full contact. Any prior hesitation vanished at her words, which spoke of a feeling that was mutual in both of us, and I now knew it.

_Hell yeah, it's worth it_, I thought to myself as I crashed my lips onto hers hard, claiming them as my own. She let out a soft moan in pleasure.

It was bliss. She was heaven in a woman. I had been waiting for this for years and now I realized that it was rightly so.

She was most definitely the dominating power in the kiss at first, shoving me into the tampon dispenser hard and pressing her whole body against mine, but I recovered quickly, shoving her back right into one of the stalls. I palmed her cheeks tightly so she couldn't disconnect from the kiss and still I managed to kick the door closed behind us. She grasped my shirt to pull me closer and I just sank into it.

Suddenly she disconnected from my mouth, catching her breath, but I wasn't near done yet and trailed my mouth to her jaw line and neck.

"Wait," she breathed. "Declan, hold on."

I reeled myself back even though it pained me thoroughly to do so.

"Don't you want to go someplace cleaner?" she asked me. I answered by kissing her neck again and muttering:

"I can't wait anymore."

"Let's go to my place," she pleaded. "I want to do this right."

I sighed heavily and hung my head.

"So do I," I agreed. "I'll follow you there."

As we left the bathroom and headed to the door, I spotted the bartender smile my way and give me a 'way to go' thumbs up as I held the door open for Zhen. I grinned at him enthusiastically and gave him the same gesture back as Zhen exited.

We parted ways to our own cars once outside though we both were a little reluctant to do so.

Much to my amusement though, once we were out on the highway, I noticed that Zhen was speeding. I also noticed she was putting on more gloss over her lips as she drove. It made me smile. She couldn't wait either.

Her apartment was in a nice, quiet part of town, and it was a pleasant walk though a small garden to get to it.

I walked patiently with my hands in my pockets, trailing behind her as she hurried up the stairs and fished for the right key. In her excitement she couldn't seem to find the right one, but suddenly, I was in no hurry. I had all the time in the world for her, because I knew what was surely beyond this door.

Heaven in a woman.

Once inside, she seemed a little flustered, racing here and there to put her keys down, to close the curtains, to tidy up a few leftover dishes…

I grabbed at her as she rushed past and put my arms around her to calm her down. It was immediately affective, as she melted into me. I nuzzled my nose into her hair and just held her for many minutes, breathing in the scent of her fully.

At long last she led me down the short, narrow hall to her bedroom. I was immediately surprised at the lack of furnishings, for it was rather empty. The bed was without a frame, just a boxspring and a mattress on the floor covered with red sheets and a black down blanket. The small area rug looked new for how clean and fluffy it was. There was a desk in the corner with many papers on it, and a shelf of many old books. Save for that, the beige room was plain and empty.

"I'm not home much," she explained.

I cupped her neck and pulled her lips to mine again, this time kissing her slow and steadily, savoring every taste. I herded her toward the bed, smooth and gradual, so that she wouldn't notice.

Again, she disconnected. I was let down that she had stopped such a kiss, but I realized I needed desperately to catch my breath, as I was feeling a bit lightheaded.

"Protection?" she asked, panting as well. "Did you bring any?"

I sighed, beating myself up for forgetting it. For a moment I considered just saying 'to hell with protection', but quickly threw the thought aside. It would be hard to explain indeed to IMF if Zhen ever turned up pregnant…

"It's in my glove compartment," I replied with a look of true sorrow. "I'll be right back."

"I won't go anywhere," she promised. I grabbed a hold of her shoulders and sat her down on the bed. She sat with her hands folded neatly like a well-behaved child.

Then I headed for the door, watching her like a hawk in case she moved.

"Stay," I commanded her like a dog.

She smiled in amusement.

"_Stay_…" I insisted again, then took off running out the door.

I could've kicked myself for being so stupid and I scolded myself all the way back down the stairs, through the garden, and out to my beat up old mustang. I opened the door furiously and flung open the glove compartment.

And it was just my luck:

I had none.

I was insistent in my mind that I had to have one somewhere, so out in the middle of the night, there I was, fishing under the worn leather seats of my convertible desperately for a little square piece of plastic.

Finally, success came, and I found one under the passenger seat. By this time I was delirious with my find. Speed flew me like no other through that garden and up those stairs to her apartment door. My heart raced with new fervor, not being able to wait a second longer or it was surely going to be the end of me.

I opened the door to her room softly to gaze upon my lady again. I immediately saw her where I had left her, her chest rhythmically rising and fallen, her eyes closed in peaceful dreams.

She had fallen asleep.

I sighed for the last time that night, my shoulders falling though I wasn't thoroughly disappointed. It was good enough for me to know that we had come this close-- that we had _wanted_ to-- and it was a start.

I pulled off my boots and socks and set them on the floor, and quietly laid on the space beside her, staring into her closed eyes and feeling the happiest and the most satisfied in this simple moment than I had ever been, even more so than any afterglow… with any woman… ever.

I stared at her for a good half-hour at least, before I fell asleep too, right beside my lady.

-

**  
Oh, this story isn't over yet. Like they keep saying: You never know with the Rogue. Please review.**

**Signed,  
--RedRogue**


	17. Zhen's POV: Interruptions

**Chapter 17**

**-**

**Zhen's POV.**

-

I stirred in my bed, knowing by the light behind my closed eyelids meant it was morning. I squirmed a bit, feeling crowded by something, and subconsciously began to shove it aside to provide myself with more space. Whatever it was, it was large and surprisingly _warm_…

My eyes popped open, suddenly wide-awake, and I looked over my shoulder at the man lying next to me. Declan was sound asleep and still fully clothed. It was then I recalled the events of the night before. I slapped myself on the forehead for falling asleep at such a momentous occasion. How could I fall _asleep_?

I looked at my lovely man, wondering if he had taken it badly. God, I was so stupid.

My moving had made him fidget as well and in his sleep he pulled me closer to him, like without me he felt cold. I stroked his hair lovingly. He looked peaceful when he slept.

At my touch, he grabbed the hand that was on his face quick as lightning, like I was an assailant, and flipped me over quite suddenly in a pin.

"Declan!" I called in surprise. "It's just _me_!"

He let me go at once, climbing off me with a sheepish grin.

"Sorry," he mumbled with a sleepy yawn.

"Don't worry about it," I assured him as he laid back down beside me. "I would have done the same thing."

He stared back at me with sleep still in his eyes, and smiled.

"I'm so sorry about last night," I said, feeling uncomfortable under his unwavering gaze. "Thanks for staying with me."

I began to climb over him, meaning to head for the kitchen to make him breakfast, but he grabbed the end of my white satin shirt and pulled me back onto him, planting his mouth on mine.

"Don't you want breakfast?" I asked him, pulling away just long enough to speak.

"I'm already _havin'_ breakfast," he said. I looked at him with confusion, so he proceeded to explain by tracing my jaw with his mouth, and I got his meaning quickly.

I giggled, something I never did because I thought it too girly. But under his tickling tongue and teeth, I couldn't help myself.

Then I realized I was sitting on his stomach, just about straddling him. My cheeks suddenly fell hot… with him it just felt so new to me. He sat up with me still in his lap, and held the small of my back as he kissed me deeply, and then he took off his shirt. I knew what was coming next. I was getting a second chance at what I missed last night.

For every article of clothing he shed, I did too, until we were sitting on my flat little twin bed in our underwear. It was quite exhilarating. He was already sweating and I couldn't breathe.

As we kissed passionately with me still on top of him, he was about to strip his boxers next when I heard a ringing in my purse.

I broke away from him, this time feeling an equal amount of sorrow in doing so as he must have. I was very reluctant to stop.

"Sorry, I have to get that," I said very unwillingly. "It might be the agency."

He waved me on and I leaned over the side of the bed to dig in my purse for the phone.

"Hello?" I said, trying hard to make my breath sound normal.

"Hello? Zhen?" I heard the other end say. My heart plummeted as I recognized the thick Chinese accent. It was my _sister_.

Then it was decided. The world hated me.

"Oh, hi, sis," I said with embarrassment, my cheeks going flaming hot now. I looked at Declan for his reaction, and his eyes had gone wide, but he looked greatly amused at this, and seemed ready to laugh if it weren't for my prompting gestures to be quiet.

"What the matter?" her accent interrogated me on the other end. "Why are you breathing so hard?"

"I was…" I searched for an excuse. "Jogging. I just got back from jogging, Feng. Listen—I can't talk now--"

Declan snickered loudly, unable to hold his laughter in.

"Who is that?" she demanded. "Is that a _man_?"

"It's just my jogging partner, Feng… um, Steve. Steve Bailey."

"Are you lying to your sister, Zhen?"

"No, Feng, I'm not lying. I really have to go. Something's burning in the kitchen. I'll call you back later."

I flipped my phone closed to end the conversation, and let out a sigh of relief as Declan burst out laughing uncontrollably.

"Com'on," I scolded. "It wasn't _that_ funny."

"Of all times fer her t' call…" he chuckled with disbelief. "_Jogging_… That's too much."

"Where were we?" I said to pull him away from the shameful subject, and leaned close to his mouth, nuzzling his nose with mine. But he insisted on still laughing.

"'Somethin's burnin' in the kitchen'…" he mocked. "God…!"

"Declan!" I rebuked and smacked him to get his attention focused.

"Sorry, sorry," he chuckled. I gave him a look, seeing as he was still laughing. He straightened up his face to look serious again. I didn't trust it, because I could still see the laughter in his eyes.

"Okay, fer real," he insisted. "I'm done, I promise."

He lifted his face up to mine and kissed me with an open mouth, just to further prove that he was over it. I received it gladly, that hot feeling returning in me.

When he reached for my black lace panties, the phone rang _again_.

I groaned from the depths of my stomach. I tried to pull away, but he wouldn't have it.

"Don't answer it," he begged, still connected in a kiss.

It rang again.

"_Please_ don't," he pleaded more when he saw I was beginning to pull away again.

"Sorry…" I said softly. I wanted to obey with every fiber of my being, but I had to at least check. I made sure I looked at the caller ID this time. It was indeed the agency, so I answered it quickly.

"Yes?" I said, as Declan sighed in frustration and plopped his head back down on my pillow, staring at the ceiling with flustered eyes.

"Zhen?" I heard Luther say on the other end. "Where have you been?"

"Trying to sleep," I lied. I tried my darndest to get a hold of my heavy breathing, so that he wouldn't recognize that it was a fib.

"Look, I know it's supposed to be our day off, but we're dealing with major issues down here. Lucas just nabbed Heron! She's taken her back to LA."

"WHAT?!" I said in surprise, sitting up fully.

"You need to get over here as soon as you can. I'm going to call Gormley next and tell him."

"No!" I said a little too loudly. "I… I will. I'll tell him."

"Okay, whatever. Just get your butt DOWN HERE _NOW_!"

I closed my phone and went to my closet to grab a suitable shirt.

"What happened?" Declan said, sitting up. I threw his jeans in his face.

"Lucas kidnapped Heron," I relayed the information. "We have to save her, before she gives her the 'Blues' poison. I have a strong gut feeling that she will."

"_God_!" Declan said with surprise, hurrying up with putting his jeans on, hopping a bit on one foot. "Did Luther suspect I was here?"

"I don't think so," I said with uncertainty, pulling on my own pair of black pants. "But that doesn't matter right now; we have a crisis on our hands."

"Right," he agreed. Suddenly, we both stopped at the same time, looking to one another after we realized we had both mechanically said something possibly hurtful to one another without thinking.

"We're still agents the next day," he repeated my own words I had spoken the night before. "Its just like you said."

He grabbed my face and kissed me hard, but quickly. After he let me go, I nodded determinedly.

"I'll take it however I can get it, Declan. Lets go."

-

"You think we can do this?" he asked me as we walked up to the underground headquarters used in emergencies. It was a short walk through a subway station, down to a side door marked with gold letters that spelled: 'keep out'. He was just finishing tucking in his shirt, even as we walked. I had felt sad to see his beautiful bare chest go. Bench press was _so_ good to him…

"We're agents;" I replied seriously. "We have to expect the impossible."

"Not the mission," he insisted. "…Us."

I looked at him after he had uttered that small, ordinarily simple word, yet so powerful the raw magnitude of its meaning to me. We were… '_us_'. I liked the sound of it, maybe just a little too much.

"Just don't stare at me like you do and we'll be fine," I assured him.

"_Sure_," he agreed, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. "As long as _you_ stop scanning me over."

I frowned at him like I didn't know what in the world he was talking about and even threw in a little offense for good measure. He just smiled broadly in return, that mocking smile of his, probably knowing I couldn't defend myself in truth and seeming quite pleased at knowing this fact. In fact, in all the time of ever knowing him, I had never seen a happier expression on his face as the one that was staring back as me right now.

"That's _exactly_ what I'm talking about," I scolded him. "Stop looking at me!"

He laughed.

"Alright, alright…" he said, but his eyes were still locked.

"Stop it!" I tried to cover my own amusement to rebuke him. "I mean it, Declan…Shove it."

"Okay!" he said as he held the black agency door open for me. Inside, there was a single elevator, which required a pass code. I typed it in as Declan inspected his appearance in the silver elevator door's reflection to make sure he looked legitimate, straightening his collar properly and fixing his hair.

It was then I saw something by his ear that I hadn't caught before. Something pink. It was my own lipgloss. My throat tightened suddenly at what could've happened had I not noticed it… then gratefulness swelled over me at the luck that I had for noticing it before we went inside the agency building. I quickly went to him, licking my fingers and attacking the pink stain.

"What? What is it?" he asked with surprised confusion.

"My lipgloss is on you," I explained, rubbing it off with my fingers as a mother would clean her dirty-faced little boy.

He grabbed my hand, making us both freeze, and he stared at me with such love in his eyes. That look _never_ got old. The elevator dinged beside us and opened up, waiting for us to enter.

"Stop it," I commanded Declan boldly, yanking my hand from his treacherous hold.

"Stop _carin'_ about you?" he asked innocently.

"Stop _looking_ like you do."

He nodded, and I couldn't help but suspect that we were surely and sincerely _screwed_.

-

**  
I liked this chapter too! Loved writing it-- so much fun. I hope you agree. Please review.**

**Signed,  
--RedRogue**


	18. Declan's POV: Questions

**Chapter 18**

**-**

**Declan's POV.**

-

It took quite literally everything in me to hold back from looking absolutely giddy about all that had happened the night before—even if nothing _actually_ 'happened'. The woman I loved, she loved me back—so I was in the clouds with no chance of returning anytime soon.

By the time I exited the elevator with Zhen, I managed to construct a completely convincing serious face. Soon my emotions calmed with it, and I got back into 'agent mode'.

Luther looked like a mess. He probably had a hangover—a big one at that. It wasn't surprising, since we all figured we were on vacation… yet obviously that wasn't the case.

"This girl is starting to piss me off," Luther announced.

"Yeah, tell me about it," Smartie complained, rubbing his temples. "First Reggie, now Heron?"

"She's picking us off," Bobbie decided. "She has a vendetta against IMF. It only makes sense."

I shot her a look to let her know that I hadn't forgiven her for that stunt she pulled the other day.

"Don't try to make sense out of madness," I countered, setting my jacket down on the table and taking a seat. "She's insane, that's all there is to it. Now how are we goin' t' get our boss back before Lucas poisons her?"

"We were hoping you could tell us," Luther said. "You were the one who stayed to watch the tracer pin her location. So where is she?"

"Los Angeles," I replied without hesitation. "But I can't remember the address. Something Valley Road."

"Well, _that_ helps…" Bobbie said sarcastically.

"Sea Valley Road," said a familiar voice from behind them. All eyes turned to the door, where Ethan Hunt leaned against the frame with a smug grin on his face. "I took the liberty of getting the tracer computer out of the wreckage. I had Benji run a scan."

"What's up, brother!" Luther said, a grin showing through on his face for the first time that day. He shook hand with his old friend. "What brings you up to this part of the building? Shouldn't you be off educating some novices somewhere?"

"Thought I'd lend you a hand," he replied with a smile, shaking my hand and doing the same to everyone else. "It is my day off, after all."

"That makes one of us," Luther mumbled angrily as he typed in the street name into his laptop. "Sea Valley Road, Malibu, California."

"You wouldn't happened to have dug up the address, would you, Hunt?" I joked.

"No," he replied. "But I know someone who can."

-

Declan folded his arms, watching through the one-sided mirror into the interrogation room. The entire team stood around him, gazing at the Spanish man on the other side like a fish in a fishbowl. His neck was in a brace.

"I thought you killed Costales, Zhen?" I said to her.

"I thought I did too…" Zhen replied with confusion, looking to Ethan for the answer.

"You got him pretty good in the neck, that's all. A guard found him long after you guys left and he called 911. The police matched him to the most-wanted list and tried to interrogate Costales themselves, but as soon as we figured out who he was, we came and picked him up."

"Has he said anything yet?" Bobby asked him.

"Only that he, and I quote, 'wants to speak to the bitch who put him in the brace'. He won't talk to anyone else."

I glanced at Zhen, whose eyes were fixed on Costales. Her expression was unchanged. She must've been back in 'agent mode' as well.

"Day off, my foot," Luther commented with a smirk. "You've been following our case the whole damn way, haven't you?"

"Just keeping an eye on some friends."

"Yeah, we your _only_ friends," Luther retorted.

"Might as well give him what he wants," Zhen said. "I'll talk to him."

I looked at her with surprise and a little worry. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw an exchange of looks between Luther and Ethan at my obvious concern for Zhen.

"Are you sure?" I asked her. She nodded firmly in reply.

She exited the room, Bobby, Smarty and Luther at her heels. I moved to follow her, but Ethan held me back by my arm.

"Hey," he said. "Can we talk for a minute?"

I let the door close without me going through.

"Am I in trouble?" I asked jokingly, but I was a little cautious.

Ethan smiled in his usual mysterious way.

"Com'on," he gently urged, smile still in place.

I was a little nervous about what Ethan would ask for a private moment just to tell me. He carried papers in his hand, which only added to my inner turmoils. Though, outwardly, I showed none of this.

"I don't want to make a scene," Ethan said. "So I'll make this quick and save you from having to answer too many questions."

"What's up?"

"These were on Costales when we found him." Ethan gave me the papers in his hand, and my eyes grew wide at what I saw.

It was me, leaving the restaurant with Zhen, and another, kissing her before we had parted ways to go to her house. Someone had spotted us.

My heart froze, and I knew we were busted. I was disappointed at how quickly it had happened. How quickly our heavenly world came crashing down to hell.

"Don't freak out," Ethan warned me. "I confiscated them before anyone but me could see them."

I could only stare at the ghastly black and white photos, my own face staring at me, not really computing all that they entailed. This couldn't be happening… it was unreal…

Then I looked up to Zhen, who was just entering the interrogation room. The voice speaker was off, so I could only read her lips to know what she was saying to him.

"We can safely assume Costales took these himself, but what we don't know is who gave him the tip. Were you in contact with any people that night?"

"It was late, some ungodly hour," I replied in a monotone. "Not another living soul for miles… Wait—except the bartender."

I recalled when that blasted man had given me a thumbs up on my way out with Zhen. And me, like the stupid fool I was, returned his gesture without second thought.

"What's going on with you and Zhen, huh?" Ethan asked, motioning to the window where Zhen was circling around the prisoner in deep conversation.

I looked at him and didn't know what to say. He caught on quickly; probably with the look on my face it was answer enough for him.

"You're going to ruin her, you know that right?" Ethan warned me. "Did you think about _her_ in all this?"

"I couldn't—I tried to, but…" was my pathetic response.

"You're too good for this, Declan," Ethan said. "What happened to loving the single life, being a bachelor forever?"

"It… changed…" I said in a low voice, staring at him shamefully.

"Declan," Ethan leaned even closer to whisper. "I have to ask: have you slept with her yet?"

I looked at him fiercely, offended by the question, but I knew he had a right to know. This man held my career's fate in his hands—I had no choice anyway, but to answer. I stared at Zhen when I replied:

"No, I haven't. But believe me, that's not for lack of wantin' to."

I shoved the papers back into his hands, glaring at him seriously.

"Burn them," I commanded him.

"You'll be found out by IMF next, sooner or later, you know that, right?" Ethan put his last two cents in. "If you're in love as much as you obviously seem, than you won't be able to hide it."

"No offense, but watch me."

"You've just made this more hazardous for the both of you. I want you to understand, I'm strongly advising you against this."

I was getting mad now, even though he was just saying what I had already thought on before.

"I know the risks," I countered. "But I'm not letting this one go."

"Then I hope you're prepared to live with your decision."

I stared at my beautiful lady, getting into the heat of the moment now with her captive, her hair falling all into her face and her eyes wide with anger.

"Oh yeah, I'm prepared," I assured him.

"You're still stubborn," Ethan said, shaking his head with disbelief. "Com'on, I'll buy you a cup of coffee before you jet to Cali."

I felt a sudden sense of guiltiness for dragging Zhen into this. Who liked the other first? It was me, wasn't it? So that made it my fault, right?

"Ethan," I stopped him with words before he left out the door. "You'd do the same if it was Julia, wouldn't you?"

He seemed to consider it, then answered boldly.

"Most definitely."

-

**  
Sorry it took so long! Life has been, in a word, crazy. Please review.**

**Signed,  
--RedRogue**


	19. Zhen's POV: Severance

Chapter 19

**A/N: Again with the apologies for the longness of time between updating. I'm still here, still in love with this couple! Read on.**

**-**

**Chapter 19**

**-**

**Zhen's POV.**

-

I smiled to myself as I exited the viewing room to head over to where they were keeping Costales. Bobbie, Smartie and Luther went on their merry way, leaving me alone with the suspect. They trusted me to handle this. Yet on those few steps between the viewing room and the door to the interrogation room, my thought could only focus on the fact that Declan had been concerned for me, and it was flattering. As soon as I opened that door, though, that giddy smiled vanished like it had never crossed my features before. Having grown so used to being serious all the time, it wasn't to hard to fall back into business as usual.

I set some of the papers I had been holding down on the chrome table. I was quiet, my shoes clicking on the linoleum flooring. There were no cameras here. This conversation was not going to be witnessed for a second time. I liked it that way. It was just me, the suspect, and whoever was in the viewing room, if there was anyone there at all.

My heart pounded in my chest. This gave me a thrill like no other. I hoped he was nervous. I hoped I made him feel inferior. He deserved to feel small.

I pulled out one of the metal chairs, purposely letting the legs of it scrape across the floor like nails to a chalkboard. I pulled it out more than was necessary; I liked that sound so much. I took a seat slowly, to over-accentuate my relaxed nature. Exaggeration was everything in a situation like this.

He was not intimidated, which was not surprising, for a man of his power and stature. I crossed my legs and put my hands in my lap, taking my time observing him. He stared back, almost glaring, even. That foam wrap around his throat took away from whatever frightening air he was trying to give off.

"Nice neckbrace," I offered.

He snickered. He slouched a little more in his chair, making his handcuffs jingle.

"You think I am afraid of you, senorita?"

"If you're not, you're dumber than I thought."

Another snicker. This evolved into a full on chuckle.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"Why, you are, my dear. You have thoroughly screwed yourselves."

"I'm not the one in handcuffs and has a jacked-up esophagus."

"Of course not. You are the one with the gorgeous body and the oozing love for one of your fellow agents."

Zhen uncrossed her legs and sat up a little straighter.

"Yes," Costales smirked. "That got your attention, didn't it? It is priceless, really. Couldn't have planned it better. It will bring your sufferings to a whole new level. A more personal one. Frankly, I don't know what you see in Gormley."

My heart skipped a beat, but it didn't show on my face.

"I don't know what you're talking about." A lame lie and we both knew it. "Tell me where she keeps the 'Blues' poison."

"Come on now, Ms. Lei. There's no cameras, nobody here. We can be honest with one another. And honestly…" He laughed again like it was so damn hilarious he couldn't stand it. "I'm going to rip your heart out. And then after you're dead, I'm going to ravage your beautiful, lifeless corpse."

He was making me mad. Yet still, my composure was kept, and I just shook my head at his words.

"You disgust me. Where are you keeping Heron?"

"And as for your boyfriend Gormley--"

"What's the Malibu Address?"

"I might just ravage his corpse too."

That's when I lost my cool. I slammed my hands down on the table and jumped to my feet, getting close and personal to his face.

"You're not going to _touch_ him!"

Victory was his.

I had proven to what he might have not already known. I breathed angrily in his face, not caring that he had won, that he now had control of the situation. All I cared about was holding back from snapping his already hurt neck and finishing what I started with him. I was breathing fire, I could feel it boil in my veins. What had become of me? When had my years of acting boot camps been fed to the wolves? Losing my cool was something that had never happened to me before. It wasn't in my programming, even prior to IMF training.

"See what I mean?" Costales giggled to further rub it in my face. "Personal."

"My patience for you is gone," I warned him. "You better wipe that damn smile off your face and tell me what Lucas is planning _right_ now."

"Alright, senorita," Costales obliged. "I will tell you what you have surely already figured out by now. It is very simple. Lucas would like her revenge. It is an age-old story told time and time again in comic book villains. You kick them out of where they work for making groundbreaking discoveries that the world is not ready for, and they are resentful. You see, my dear, things are not always as impossible as they seem."

I stood up straight, peering into his soul through his brown eyes and trying to decide if his words bore truth.

"The IMF is finished," Costales informed me.

"You just destroyed one of our buildings," I countered. "We're not defined by our center of operations."

"Demolition is just the beginning, mi amor. And it's 43789 Sea Valley Road, Malibu. When you and your boyfriend are ready to die."

"Zhen?" a light tap on the door came from Martin in the doorway. "Don't shoot the messenger, but Brassel wants to see you."

Costales raised his brow in mock wonder.

"Did he say what about?" I asked Martin.

"Something about Declan," Martin explained. "Brassel's not happy. Then again, he never is."

Costales chuckled again and my chest clenched like a tight fist and my eyes went rapid into thought, wondering how Brassel had found out so soon. Who tipped him off about Declan and me? Why did it all have to end so soon? We had barely begun to see each other…

I walked high headed and steady down the hall to Brassel's large meeting room. I was surprised to see through the office window, Bobbie already inside and sitting comfortably. I guess I knew who was the snitch. I took a deep breath, planning a word or two in inevitably futile defense. My career was finished. Might as well start accepting it now. At least I was free to be with Declan without hindrance, right? My heart weighed a ton. There was no prolonging it. I had to face him. I just enough time to shoot Bobbie a furious look before I made it to the door, but she just looked elsewhere. She didn't even have the guts to own up to what she had done. She knew she had just murdered my whole way of life.

Brassel started talking as soon as I walked completely in the door.

"I have just received information of a interoffice scandal involving two of our agents. To be frank, I have heard rumors of this myself, but considering these are two of our good agents, and having more important matters on my plate than a company Days of Our Lives drama."

"Sir…" I began, shaking my head.

"What _bewilders_ me is why it was not brought to my attention sooner. Apparently, I do not have enough of my employees respect to be reported of policy mishaps. So what started as a small problem, escalates into a bigger one. During the last mission, it became painfully evident. You all have discovered a new way of embarrassing me, it seems."

I could feel the first sting of tears at my eyes. I loved my job too much. It hurt for it to end sooner than expected.

"Mr. Gormley denies knowledge… So, I ask you, Ms Lei, the same question I have asked everyone else in this team."

Here it came. Those murderous words were coming now…

"Did you know of Ms. Blake's relationship with Agent Gormley?"

I blinked in surprise, not knowing if I heard right. The same surprise was on Bobbie's face, as she leaped to her feet.

"ME!?" she shouted.

"Contain yourself, Ms. Blake!" Brassel commanded harshly. "Please waste my time and deny it."

"Sir, if I may…" she sputtered.

"You may not!" Brassel shot right back. She went on anyway.

"My conduct pales in comparison to Agent Lei's!"

"That's _enough_, Ms. Blake!"

"It's _her_ affair with Agent Gormley that you should put under observation! It's an embarrassment to the Force; they're a running joke! Just ask her!"

"Get out, Ms. Blake, before I take away that precious severance pay that you will be needing very soon."

Bobbie shot me a look as if I had betrayed her with silence, even though we had never really been friends, so there wasn't much to let down. She grabbed her things in a huff, and stormed out the door with tears in her eyes. The unfairness was obvious, so much so that it seized my throat. My being an honest person, I couldn't let such a thing hang over me for long.

"You may go too, Ms. Lei," Brassel waved me off, concerning himself more with writing something in a file more than likely Bobbie's. "If you can send Agent Gormley in on your way back."

"Sir, if I could… What Roberta said…"

"What she said is of no consequence to me, Ms. Lei, since Gormley will soon be collecting his severance as well. If you had sense, you would avoid any more rumors from now on, especially concerning him, or I might have to bring up this subject again, and trust me, I'm tired of it already."

Basically, never speak to Declan again. A flash of thought made me wonder for only a second which was worse, losing my job or him.

No, my job was spared. It was a precious gift, one I should not squander.

All I had left to do was explain all this to Declan.

-

**  
Please review.**

**Signed,  
--RedRogue**


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